


Emotions

by WhatTheFridgeDude



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Competition, Gakushuu just blushes a lot, Karma is emotionally confused, M/M, Oblivious Karma, Pining Asano Gakushuu, this is going to be painful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatTheFridgeDude/pseuds/WhatTheFridgeDude
Summary: Karma doesn't realise. He never did. Stealing your rival's jacket, pinning him to the wall, tension as they battled academically, none of it was supposed to be more than friendly.He had always treated Asano differently, always felt differently for him though.Asano assumes Karma is flirting and develops a crush. He acts on it, thinking its reciprocated.Karma has unknowingly flirted with Gakushuu for months with a crush he doesn't know or understand.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 86
Kudos: 241





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> YALL DO I HAVE ANOTHER ONGOING WORK??? YES. AM I GOING TO POST THIS HALF-ASSED IDEA THAT I HAVE ANYWAY INSTEAD OF UPDATING? ALSO YES.
> 
> This story was physically painful for me to write. Please tell me if its any good, if I should continue it or not, literally anything.
> 
> Enjoy!

Karma was being manipulated.

It had started about 2 months ago, when he had been invited to Asano’s football game, by Asano himself. Karma had narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but against his better judgement, he had accepted. The blinding grin Asano had sent him all day had made his body tingle, which Karma didn’t like. At the match, he was teased mercilessly by Ren and Seo for coming, which had placated Karma’s suspicions about why he had been invited. Even though he had hated the teasing, watching Asano run up and down the court all sweaty hadn’t eased Karma’s mind.

He had hoped coming would give him mocking material about his football skills, but it left him in a ball of nerves.

Now, if there is one thing Karma hated, it was being manipulated. So, he decided to play along with whatever game Asano had decided to play, and then he would beat him at it.

Strangely, it didn’t have much more effect on his daily routine. He had stolen Asano’s jacket about 3 months ago, and he had thought it was time for a hit back on the manipulation. He left his favourite hoodie innocently on Asano’s desk after school, just to see what he would do. He had watched triumphantly as Asano had gone a deep red, before looking around and carefully putting it on. Karma had felt elated. His manipulation had worked! Karma would have given a toe to replay the moment when Asano had stepped out of the classroom and seen him standing there. He’d not been able to make a coherent sentence the whole way out of school, as red as the hoodie he was in, and Karma had a smirk firmly on his face the whole way home. He’d walked Asano home (just to revel in being the one to bring his rival to this state) and when Asano had tried to pry the hoodie off of his body at his gate, Karma had merely winked and teasingly said, “Give it back to me tomorrow,” before walking to his house, hearing Asano sputter behind him.

The whole way home Karma had felt triumphant. When he had taken Asano’s jacket after a study session at the latter’s house, he hadn’t reacted like that! He had only taken it because it was comfy as shit, and he had thought it would piss him off. And it had, Asano and him had wrestled for 20 mins in biology (the teacher had given up trying to separate them) before Karma had finally pinned the annoyingly-wriggly boy.

“Hah! I get to keep it!” Karma had said between pants.

Asano had furiously tried to move his wrists, but Karma had kept them pinned above his head. Asano had studied his face for a few minutes, Karma just raising an eyebrow, before Asano had sighed softly and agreed. That soft smile had stayed on when Karma had walked into school the next day wearing his jacket.

Asano- 0 Karma- 1 he mentally tallied. He refused to count the football game in his ranking. The hoodie was the first point.

* * *

When he had arrived at school the day after that, late as usual, his favourite juice box had sat upon his desk, waiting for him.

Damn that boy was good, Karma thought as he angrily sipped his juice box at the back of the classroom. The teacher had looked as if she had wanted to tell him off for drinking it in class, but had just looked at Asano instead and left it.

Asano- 1 Karma- 1 he thought sourly.

So, that day, he had dragged Asano to the cafeteria and forced the boy to choose something. Ignoring the curious looks from other students, Karma had kept his serious gaze on Asano’s face as it slowly went red. The boy had scowled (which had lost its force since his face was the colour of Karma’s hair) and chosen the cheapest option. Karma had stubbornly stood his ground and scoffed at his choice, which had only sent Asano into another spiral of blushing.

Cute.

Asano- 1 Karma- 2

Once Asano had finally chosen something he actually wanted, not because it was cheap, Karma had chosen something as well and paid for both of them. Students were smiling at the two of them and just as Karma had smugly added to the tally, Asano grabbed his wrist, and asked him to eat with him.

Bastard! Karma thought as they sat on the roof together. Normally Rukiyo and Kabaya would’ve come to eat with him, but Karma had heard Rukiyo bodily drag Kabaya away from the roof once she had seen the two of them together. That girl was so weird sometimes, he thought to himself.

They’d eaten lunch together with fast paced conversation, teasing and laughter and by the time lunch had ended Karma’s head was spinning.

Asano- 2 Karma- 2.

* * *

Over the next 2 weeks, things had slowly escalated. Everyday, they would wear each other’s clothes to school, spend lunch together when Asano had no extracurriculars that day and Karma would go to Asano’s sporting events to cheer him on. Asano began to make Karma lunch in the morning, and Karma would buy him snacks from the cafeteria during the day. Karma sullenly ate the bento that Asano had brought him when it had happened at first. It wasn’t as spicy as he would like, but it was neat and had food Karma clearly liked in it. He’d even made dessert. It tasted really good. It was clear a lot of effort had gone in. No matter, Karma had thought, he doesn’t have time to make these nice lunches every lunch time.

He was wrong.

Everyday the bentos kept coming, with increasingly cuter designs and as much as Karma mocked Asano for acting girly he secretly thought they were endearing and envied the talent Asano had for shaping rice. Maybe they should have a cook-off one day.

But after about a week of bentos Karma began to notice the dark circles under Asano’s eyes, the way he would stumble more often when answering questions in class, even to the point of forgetting his homework once. Asano never forgot his homework. Ever.

So, Karma took it upon himself to add a point to his score in the out-manipulate-Asano competition as well as get his rival back up to steam. Midterms were coming up, and it was no fun competing against someone who couldn’t even remember their math work.

During lunch at their scheduled meeting, when Asano turned the corner onto the roof, he was suddenly hauled backwards by his shirt collar. With only a yelp, he was shoved up against the wall and Karma’s angry face was shoved in his.

“See! You didn’t even fight back! What the fucks going on.” Karma announced, his face way too close for Asano’s liking. Asano could feel his face heating up, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Akabane’s lips.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gakushuu said with a voice too shaky to be convincing.

Karma hauled the boy further up the wall and pressed him more firmly into the bricks. Asano would have died before he told anyone about the embarrassing squeak he let out. He hated that Karma didn’t even look fazed.

“You have dark circles so deep I could swim in them, you’re forgetting your homework and you can barely counter any attack I make,” Karma said unimpressed.

“Midterms are coming up, what do you expect?” Gakushuu said, mind reeling.

Karma scoffed, moving his face so close that their noses touched. God, he hated not having a rival to fight with. The closer he got the more attentive Asano seemed to get, so if this is how close he needed to get to drive it into Asano’s stubborn ass then so be it.

“How many hours of sleep do you get every night,” Karma questioned.

Gakushuu tried to regain control over the situation.

“Pfhh, like you’re much better,” he countered, avoiding the question entirely.

Karma raised an eyebrow before sighing and setting him down against the wall and turning to lean against it next to him.

Cue awkward silence.

“How long do those stupid lunches take to make,” Karma asked, after a few minutes of silence.

Asano was quiet.

“Not that long-“

“Don’t lie to me second-place,” Karma quipped back, not even smiling at the nickname. He felt troubled.

Asano sighed at the nickname that still hadn’t left. 

“Gakushuu.” He said instead.

Karma turned towards him and looked him the eyes like he was stupid.

“Call me Gakushuu,” he said softly, refusing to meet Karma’s eyes.

Asano- 3 Karma- 2.

Karma hmphed, refusing to be distracted by the obvious deflection technique.

“Nice try, you’ve still got to answer my question,” Karma said smugly.

Gakushuu looked conflicted, but finally decided to answer.

“All in all, it takes about an hour to make every morning.” He said quietly, sounding almost shy?  
“But, don’t worry about it, I like making them for-“

The rest of Gakushuu’s talking was drowned out by Karma. An hour? Asano’s extreme routine wasn’t unknown to the school, and he was known to push himself way too fay, especially during exam season. An extra hour in the morning that could be spent sleeping was spent making both Karma and himself lunch. Now Karma felt bad. He hated feeling bad. Was this Asano trying to manipulate him? All of this just sounded to Karma like Asano was pitying him. Going so out of his way to make Karma lunch. If Karma hated feeling bad, then he hated being pitied even more.

Shoving his elbow into Asano’s chest, he pushed the boy back against the wall. Asano’s little rant was cut off once more when his back collided with brick with an oomph.

“Fine. Let me make the stupid lunches until exam season. Your schedule is already packed as fuck, you don’t need this on top. I want some actual competition from you Gakushuu” (Gakushuu’s face proceeded to heat up at the name) “cuz when I beat you I want to have beaten you fair and square. Understand?” Karma snarled.

Gakushuu looked at him, shocked. He stared at Karma as if in a trance, only snapping out of it when Karma moved his forearm from his chest to his windpipe.

“Jesus, fine! They better be good though,” Gakushuu said, attempting to claw-off the chokehold Karma had him in.

Gakushuu- 3 Karma- 3

Karma let out a pleased hum before releasing the poor boy.

With shaking hands, Asano pulled out two bentos from his bag, and handed one to-

“Karma.” Shocked, Asano dropped the bento in the other boy’s lap.

Karma laughed at his reaction.

“Well, if I get to call you Gakushuu, you better call me Karma. Think I’m going to let you one up me in this whole thing?” Karma admitted with a proud smile.

Gakushuu smiled weakly before starting to eat his bento. Throughout lunch, Karma could feel Asano’- no, Gakushuu’s eyes on him. He refused to let it break his speech. He was not going to let his boy beat him.

Gakushuu- 3 Karma- 4

* * *

The next few weeks passed by in a rush. With both boys studying for midterms like crazy, there was little time to interact outside of school. However, Karma began to wake up at a normal time (sue him for sleeping in) every morning to make Gakushuu lunch. He wanted (NEEDED) his lunches to be better than Gakushuu’s.

The first time he made him lunch, it was a curry. They were sitting in a classroom this time, getting as much studying done in their free lunchtimes as possible. The Five Virtuosos sat with them.

Everyone sat in silence, watching as Asano took his first bite. Karma was reclining in his chair, faking a nonchalant attitude whilst his insides churned with unwanted nerves. What if Gakushuu’s food was better than his? He would never live it down, especially with his other ‘friends’ around.

The tension in the room was palpable as Asano chewed. Ren’s eyes flickered from Karma to Gakushuu, and Araki took photos.

Gakushuu let out a small moan of appreciation and all hell broke loose.

“I WANT TO TRY!” Ren screamed as he launched himself at the curry, but was tackled halfway by Karma.

“Hell no! I made it for him!” he screeched, and the two boys proceeded to roll around on the floor, Karma’s hands firmly around Ren’s middle as he forcibly pulled him away from the curry. Araki took photos.

Koyama and Seo began to arm wrestle for the right to try the curry, before Koyama had declared ‘cheating!’ and they joined Ren and Karma on the floor. Araki took photos.

Gakushuu ate happily whilst watching his friends shenanigans and took the time to watch Karma’s muscles as he wrestled Ren.

10 mins later, with 3 of the Virtuosos holding Karma down, Seo dragged the pile that had accumulated around his foot (Karma refused to let go, despite the 3 bodies on top of him) over to Asano and opened his mouth. Asano seemed to get the gist of it, and despite Karma’s desperate flailing Seo was chewing happily.

“Oh my god this is amazing!” the normally arrogant boy proclaimed. Seo took Araki’s place on the pile so he could try it.

Gakushuu just laughed as Karma wriggled on the floor, obviously displeased that Asano was sharing, and ignored the heat that travelled up his spine at the possessive display, feeding his friends one-by-one as they tried the food Karma had made. After they had all tasted it, they all sat down again at the table, minus Karma who was pouting on the floor.

Suddenly a hand was in his hair.

“Hey Karma, don’t be moody. Your food is amazing, people deserve to taste it!” Gakushuu said softly rom where he was sitting on Araki’s lap.

Before Karma could raise his head a lump sat on his back and Karma was dragged into a very one sided conversation with Koyama about the chemical makeup of spices.

“Karma, huh?” he heard Ren tease from above him.

“Fuck off,” was Gakushuu’s eloquent reply. Karma smiled. He could practically feel the strawberry-blonde blushing.

Gakushuu- 3 Karma- 5

* * *

Over the past year, the Virtuosos had noticed something about Asano. Despite the hard front and annoyed face he gave out at physical contact, secretly he was very touched starved. Only after the group defeat in middle school had they grown close enough to consider hugging Asano, and even now the boy was very defensive about contact.

So, when exams came and their leader became especially stressed, they launched Operation Asano. Operation Asano was held in the 2 weeks leading up to exams, Asano was forced to get 1 hug a day from each group member. Each hug had to last at least 20 seconds, and Asano could not fight the affection.

Normally, Karma didn’t partake in Operation Asano. He had always been content to look at the unguarded face of his rival as he sat in one of the Virtuosos arms. However, in one collaborative math class, he only had time to see a teasing Ren push a blushing Gakushuu forward before he was catching the boy in his arms.

“Apparently since you’re part of the group, you need to partake in Operation Asano,” Gakushuu said from where his head was on Karma’s shoulder.

Gakushuu- 4 Karma- 5

Karma was tense. He could feel Gakushuu just as tense in his arms. But, Gakushuu let out a shaky sigh before relaxing into Karma, who in turn felt himself relax.

Click, went Araki’s camera.

Rubbing slow circles into Asano’s back Karma let himself enjoy the moment of touch. Sure, he got more hugs than Gakushuu, with his friends from 3-E being annoyingly touchy, and with Rukiyo being a clinging monster, but he hadn’t seen his old class in a while, and sometimes it was nice to be hugged. Sue him for enjoying the warmth.

Suddenly, with an all too happy voice, Gakushuu pressed his face into Karma’s neck, and mumbled,

“You hug really well,” sending a furious heat across Karma’s cheeks.

Click, went Araki’s camera.

Gakushuu- 5 Karma- 5.

* * *

Suddenly, finals were upon them. Karma had continued to make lunch for Asano, who seemed increasingly grateful for the extra hour of sleep. It hadn’t really hindered Karma that much, seeing as he didn’t even do half of the extra curriculars Gakushuu did, let alone tutoring. He had offered to cover Gakushuu’s tutoring session to give him some extra study time, and after a lot of needling and blushing Gakushuu had said yes.

Gakushuu- 5 Karma- 6

It was annoying, and for once Karma appreciated how much patience Gakushuu had with everyone (but him). How could this girl not understand simple math??? It was clear she was disappointed that Asano hadn’t shown up, and it was clear from the constant stream of Asano-related questions that she was interested in him. Karma answered bluntly and cruelly, and wasn’t even sorry when he saw the love letter she had written for Gakushuu in the bin.

Finals came, and due to strict non-cheat policies classes were halved so there was a desk between each student. This meant Gakushuu and Karma rarely were in an exam hall together, which Karma took as a blessing. It wasn’t until the last exam (social studies) that there had been a mix up and Karma and Gakushuu were in the same hall. Since their surnames both began with A they were situated next to each other, ignoring the desk between them. As the exam was beginning Karma looked over at Gakushuu to taunt him or jab at him, but all he was met with was a sweet smile.

“Good luck,” he mouthed. Karma’s jaw felt slack.

The proctor started the exam, yet Karma’s attention was elsewhere.

Gakushuu- 6 Karma- 6

* * *

Results were out.

1st place- Asano Gakushuu, 498

2nd place- Akabane Karma, 490

3rd place- Teppei Araki, 489

Karma’s hand were shaking. He’d lost 9 of his points on social studies alone. He had been so close to not even coming in the top 2. He hated this. Weak, weak weak-

It had been so close, one more point, oh god the mocking-

Gakushuu came towards him in the crowd. He grabbed Karma’s hand and pulled him into an empty classroom.

“Come to gloat?” Karma said harshly, eyes mean and uncaring. Letting himself be distracted like that, pathetic, letting this stupid competition get to you.

Instead, he was forcibly pulled into a hug, and Karma just let it happen. Too weak to fight back, needing comfort from the enemy, you're pathetic Karma.

“Shhhh, calm down,” Gakushuu whispered into his hair.

Karma hated pity.

“Was it making those lunches for me that stopped you from studying?” Gakushuu asked quietly, after Karma still refused to relax.

Karma hated pity. He hated pity.

No, you asshole, pretending like you don’t know the very reason that I lost all of those points is comforting me right now, Karma’s mind snarled.

“Let me make you lunch again from now on,” Gakushuu said, fingers carding through Karma’s hair.

Karma hated pity. How had he lost track of his hold on the game? He had been winning two days ago.

Only after 5 minutes of Gakushuu’s placating whispers and soft touches did Karma finally relax.

Gakushuu- 7 Karma- 6

Karma hated pity, he thought as Gakushuu went to buy him lunch. He hadn’t had time to make lunch this morning.

The Virtuosos tactfully said nothing about the close scores.

Karma hated pity.

Gakushuu was painfully attentive, convinced it was the lunches. He bought snacks and food and Karma seethed with how played he felt. This boy was something else, he realised. Oh well. This game had gone too far anyway.

Karma hated pity. But he was losing, and to give up now would mean defeat.

Did he care enough to continue though?

As Gakushuu returned to the classroom with lunch, he mulled over the answer.


	2. Moving things along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter name, Gakushuu starts to realise that Karma is an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo I'm back! 
> 
> I apologise for how long it took to write this.  
> I also apologise for the pain you will be put through when reading this. If its as much as it put me through, then its a lot.
> 
> Anyways, as always, enjoy!

Karma didn't come to school the next day.

Or the day after.

On the third day, he had reluctantly dug himself out of his cave of self-loathing (namely his room) to come to school. He dug his headphones deep into his ears, with music blasting at full volume. If it had been his choice, he wouldn't have even come to school, but his parents seemed to have a knack for arriving at awkward times in his life. As always, it had put him in an awful mood for that evening, and adding it onto the despair he felt from his close loss had not helped anything. But, he weighed up the options and decided he would rather go to school than face his parents. They were always insufferable on the first day back.

  
The deathly aura the red-head emitted was enough to keep people away all through second and first period. He decided that he would show up for first and second, and then skip for the rest of the day. He would deal with his issues when he had gotten over the anger of his parents arriving. Gakushuu had sent him some worried looks, but thankfully hadn't had a chance to approach due to the nature of their two classes. Karma just hoped he would be able to escape before the boy approached him.  
But, it seemed his namesake was coming back to bite him, because as the bell rung after second period he was pulled out if the classroom immediately but a very insistent hand, belonging to the student council president.

"Hey! Let go of me!" Karma shouted as he was dragged forcefully down the corridor. He struggled and dragged his heels, but Gakushuu kept tugging until they were in the boys bathroom. He was shoved into the room, and before he could think the door was locked and his rival stood in front of it with his arms crossed.

"What's wrong with you!?" Karma scowled at the boy. Really, couldn't he tell that he wasn't in the mood???

"What's wrong with me?? What's wrong with you! You haven't been into school for 2 days and you didn't pick up the phone!!" Gakushuu said angrily back.

Ah, that. Karma had ignored all of the messages and calls that Gakushuu had sent him. He hadn't been in an answering questions mood.  
Instead, he shoved that nagging guilt deep down into his body. God, he hated emotion.

"Two days. Are you really that pathetic that you can go two days without talking to me?" Karma scoffed cruelly.

  
He revelled darkly in the hurt that flashed across the other boys eyes. He loved those eyes. Gakushuu had one of the best poker faces known to man, but if you had studied him, really looked, then you would notice that his eyes gave everything away. Every smug thought, every question or fear. He had spent many minutes staring at Asano when he wasn't looking to study him. He was getting much harder to read recently though. His acting really was superb, Karma mused. God, he was lucky to have a rival like him.

"I was worried about you! You fight so often, I was scared that, that..." Gakushuu’s voice trailed off at the end, and he slumped slightly, hiding his face.

  
"Please Karma, just don't do that to me again. I really, r-really..." Gakushuu reached forward and grabbed his hand, still not meeting his eye. Karma hated not seeing his face. It made him impossibly hard to read. But the normal thrill in his stomach that came from playing with Gakushuu wasn't there. This all felt too real for Karma. He needed to get out of here.

  
"Karma, please go ou-"

  
"Grow up Gakushuu, can't you see that I'm not in the mood?!" Karma snarled, snatching his hand away from where Gakushuu held it tenderly.

  
The boy jerked away as if burned, hurt all over his features.

  
"I'm sorry, I d-didnt-"

"God, just shut up. I can't be bothered right now. Come piss me off tomorrow when I'm feeling better," he said, finally meeting Gakushuu's gaze.

There we go. The full emotion splayed across his rivals face. Karma would happily give a toe to find out how Gakushuu would show every intense feeling on his face. 

He shouldered past Gakushuu towards the door. As he unlocked it, he spared a glance at the boy in the room with him. His shoulders were hunched, and his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. A myriad of feelings was caught in his eyes, and Karma soared at the hurt confusion on his face, and had to physically stop the urge to chuckle darkly at the sight. His patience was running thin however, and instead he opened the door.

  
"Wait, Karma!" Gakushuu's voice called out to him as he was leaving, and a hand closed around his wrist once more.

"What! WHAT IS IT NOW?" Karma all but shouted into Gakushuu's face, ripping his wrist from the boys grip. Unexpectedly, a box was pushed into his grip.

"Call me when you feel better," the soft, vulnerable voice said to him. He had never heard his rival sound like that. It floored him as Gakushuu stepped around him, and hurriedly walked away.

  
Karma looked down at the box in his hands and opened it. Inside was a homemade lunch, with a spicy curry shaped in s star container, rice in the shape of a heart with strawberry chocolates and bon-bons, as well as his favourite juice box.

Sighing, Karma deflated.   
Huh.

* * *

He hated that he didn’t hate Asano. The boy was just so _interesting_ , a combination of an untouchable god and an easily riled up kid. He wouldn’t deny that he had been the whole reason that Karma had gone to Kunugigaoka High. The challenge that he posed, in everything from the way that he spoke to the way that he completed complex math equations easily, thrilled Karma to no end. He had never met anyone quite like Gakushuu. Had he said any of what he had said to anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared. He knew he didn’t feel emotion like the average teen. Normally he would’ve jumped at the chance to make Gakushuu that upset.

  
So why did his stomach burn?

  
He didn’t understand this feeling. He hadn’t felt it often. That black pit of guilt churned his insides up and down. Karma sometimes regretted things that he had done, but he had never felt guilty . He did everything for a purpose. That was one thing about Asano that he had admired. No actions were taken lightly, everything had a reason. Gakushuu never wasted time, he was efficient and lethal. They were similar like that. So what was the purpose of this? He looked down at the lunchbox.   
A feral grin stretched across his face. Oh. The game had escalated. Well, Karma thought smugly, I can play your game Gakushuu.

  
Karma would do anything to chase a thrill, danger kept him feeling alive. And he had never felt a thrill like this before.

* * *

That night he cooked.

His parents cooed happily that he was finally eating well, and questioned mercilessly about who the new good influence was. He hated that. How dare they pretend to care now. He made a little takeaway box and filled it with sweets and treats that he had made. Without saying goodbye, he took the food out into the night and sent a message.

** To- Gakushuu Asano, 6.37 pm **

_Meet me at the park beside the school at 7. Don’t eat before._

He knew Gakushuu’s schedule. He was very disciplined, that hadn’t changed since middle school. Finish all school clubs and tutoring for 5.30. Get home, change into sports gear. 30 minutes of martial arts work, 30 minutes of other sport like basketball or football depending on which day it was. Shower. Dinner with his father as he taught Gakushuu whatever language he was learning at the moment. Karma believed that it was Russian at the moment. At around 7, any homework would be done. 8, more language work. 8.30, learn the school course for the upcoming week. 9 until 10, he would study something above his level, taking university courses at his young age. It sent shivers down Karma’s spine knowing this- that at the end of the day, Gakushuu was superior to him in overall capabilities. Karma could compete at a base level, exams, fights, manipulation, but he would never be the same calibre as Gakushuu. What Gakushuu had in drive, dedication and structure, Karma made up for with natural intelligence and a relentless need to be occupied. This coupled with that competitive need to bring down those on top of him fuelled him to be better than Gakushuu. Which he knew he could be. Sure, Gakushuu could speak Portuguese and write contracts with one hand, but so could Karma. Hypothetically. In a shorter amount of time too, he would bet. And that’s why he refused to break to this boy. He would win this challenge if it killed him, dammit.

  
** From- Gakshuu Asano, 6.40 pm **

_Okay_

* * *

Was food becoming their way of communicating? Karma thought as he left the house. School wasn’t far from his house, so hopefully he would arrive fast enough to put everything out before Gakushuu arrived. 

He assured himself. He wouldn’t go this out of his way for the challenge again. This was just an apology. An explanation. Yeah. To keep Gakushuu on his toes.   
As he arrived at the park, he began to set up.

  
He wondered as he unpacked why he had even participated in the challenge in the first place. It hadn’t been voiced, and Gakushuu made it subtle enough that it could’ve gone unnoticed but obvious enough that if he would have to claim a lot of obliviousness to pass it off. It was very clever, Karma thought to himself. Part of him, an ugly, dark part that he didn’t want to admit that existed, wanted to get back at Gakushuu for distracting him in the exam. Wanted Gakushuu to feel that same humiliation that he had felt. He wanted Gakushuu so obsessed with him that every thought was Karma. He had always been oddly possessive of Asano before, but it really was all down to his self-worth. If Gakushuu Asano took your worth seriously, as a threat or a friend, then you were worth something. He hated being dismissed by the other boy, because Gakushuu was his rival. If Gakushuu didn’t give him the time of day, then what was he worth? Now, he had a way of making sure that this possessive urge to cling to every ounce of Gakushuu’s time could be set in place. But he thought back to before the exam. What had driven him to accept the challenge then? It hadn’t even been voiced for god’s sake. He thought it must’ve been curiosity. He always liked spending time with Gakushuu, even if it was purely on a competitive level, and their relationship hadn’t even changed that much since All of this™ had started. But it had migrated from outwardly competitive to a unspoken thing, and Karma found himself intrigued.

They could do maths challenges against each other, Karma thought happily. Have a cooking competition, sit across the table from each other and have food fights whilst tasting each other’s food. That would be a cute idea for a competition.

  
Hang on. 

Cute?

  
Their relationship was not cute.

It was dangerous and thrilling and tense, but it wasn't cute. 

So why would he think that? 

Asano wasn't particularly cute either. Sure, he was objectively handsome, but not cute. Rabbits were cute. Puppies were cute. A boy that would slit Karma's throat in a heartbeat if he had the choice is not cute. 

He blamed his weird thoughts upon the mood. Maybe Gakushuu was getting to him after all.

  
Once everything was ready, he only had to wait. He stood against one of the entrances to the park, the one that he knew Gakushuu would walk into.

  
The clock ticked. It reached 7. There was no sign of Asano. It reached 5 past, and there was still no sign. Gakushuu is a punctual person so this is not common. As the minutes pull by, Karma began to sweat. What if he doesn't show? It would be the perfect revenge. It would be what Karma would do, if the positions were reversed. No, who was he kidding, he would be too interested to not go.

  
Despite this, he was anxious, and he hated feeling anxious. It insinuated being underprepared. There are still a decent amount of people in the streets, and a few passing through the park. Where he set up, no one should pass them though. Damn, he'd thought of everything and the boy isn't even going to show up.  
He breathed a sigh of relief as he picks out strawberry blond hair from amongst the all amount of people walking by. He took in Gakushuu's figure, who was dressed in casual clothes. Karma hadn't seen Gakushuu in casual clothes before. Like, ever.

  
Karma himself is only in some black jeans and a grey sweater under his leather jacket. It was casual and if anyone asked the rips in the jeans were bought like that. He wouldn't have said he looked anything spectacular. But Gakushuu? The boy stands in front of him, a pair of form-fitting khakis on his legs. A long-sleeved white v-neck and an open blue shirt adorn his upper half. He looked like a middle class mom. And somehow pulled it off. Karma wanted to pull it off.

"You're late," is what he says instead, because the dim lights of the city are making his brain think weirdly and he doesn't like being out of control like this.   
Gakushuu eyed him up and down, biting his lower lip.

"And you're an asshole," he said, without much bite. His eyes stay glued to Karma's jacket.

  
Karma hmphed before turning on his heel into the park. When he noticed Gakushuu wasn't following, he turned behind him. Gakushuu's eyes slipped guiltyly back up his body to meet his face. God, could he stop biting his lip? It made Karma feel weird just looking at it.

  
"Well? Don't tell me you've got cold feet now," Karma teased, adding that smug glint to his smile that he knew made Gakushuu rage. But, as always, Gakushuu seemed one step ahead, and simply lowered his head and strode towards him to catch up. The light level was too low to see properly but Karma could faintly see a red hue across Gakushuu's nose and cheeks.

Is he sick? He thought privately. 

He walked the two of them over towards where he planned to wrap Gakushuu around his little finger. But so far, his normal tricks hadn’t been working.

Damn, I'm going to have to work on my smug smile. It's my signature after all. I was hoping for at least a scowl from Asano, he thought to himself.   
He turned suddenly and started to walk off the path. Gakushuu looks concerned, and stops walking.

"Are you planning on murdering me in there?" Gakushuu questioned, an uncertain look upon his face. 

"If I wanted to kill you, I would've done it already. Plus there are too many witnesses here," Karma said, "cmon oh Lord of Fun Killing, don't you trust me?" He held out his hand for Gakushuu to take as he held open the foliage with his other. Again, a red flush overtakes Gakushuu's face, and with s trembling hand he joins their palms together. 

Jesus, he really must be sick, Karma thinks. I don't want to catch what he has.

With a sigh, he removed his hand from the foliage and puts it to Asano's forehead. The flush returned full force and Karma thought he heard Gakushuu's breath catch in his throat. But what he expects to find isn't there. He overlooks Gakushuu's body, and pulls up his sleeve. Goosebumps appear all down his arm, and he dragged his hand up until it meets Gakushuu's inner elbow. Gakushuu visibly shivers. 

  
"You didn't tell me you were cold," Karma said to the boy he held, one hand on his hand and one on his elbow. He retracted both and pulled off his leather jacket. Gakushuu looked almost sick as Karma handed it to him. He really hoped that Gakushuu would eat his food, he had made a lot after all.

"Take it."

Gakushuu gnawed at his lower lip again. It sparked something in Karma that he didn't like.

"What about you?" Gakushuu asked, his voice throaty. He really was sick.

"I've got a thick sweater, and I don't want you getting sicker," Karma said with finality in his tone. He held the jacket out and shook it once, a motion that indicted to Gakushuu to suck up his pride and take the jacket. 

  
Gakushuu looked like he was about to faint. With more than a little concern (what was up with him??) Karma draped the jacket over Gakushuu’s shoulders. Asano clung to the jacket like a lifeline, but didn’t put his hands through the sleeves. He huddled into the warmth that Karma’s jacket provided, and Karma’s heart soared as he watched the goosebumps on Gakushuu’s skin from where he had pulled up the boy’s sleeve faded. The little blush on his skin remained present, but Karma deduced it was down to embarrassment.   
He returned to the foliage, and with a pull, presented an opening to the other. 

  
“Well, you never answered me.” Karma asked selfishly. 

  
Gakushuu looked up quizzically.

  
“Do you trust me?”

  
Gakushuu made intense eye contact with Karma, and for a few seconds a thick silence wrapped around them.

“You really are a bit dense aren’t you,” Gakushuu said suddenly.

“Hah?” Karma asked, more than a little bit offended. Dense?

Gakushuu gave a little smile.

  
“What do you think me giving you my hand meant?” Gakushuu asked carefully.

  
Karma shrugged.

“Didn’t know, didn’t care.” Karma answered honestly.

  
Gakushuu looked floored for a second. He thought something over in his head, and Karma got scared that the longer that they stood there the colder that the food would get.

“Oh,” was all Gakushuu replied with, a little frown on his face. He looked like he had many questions, but had reached some sort of understanding about something. It unnerved Karma.

“Well? You coming then?” Karma asked.

  
Gakushuu looked a little sad.

“I shouldn’t, but well…..” he trailed off with a small smile.

  
“Well, I’ve always been good at self-destructing,” he finished quietly.

Before Karma would think about the meaning behind those words, Gakushuu trod around him through the opening.

  
Karma followed behind the figure, as they pushed through some foliage. 

  
Suddenly Gakushuu stopped with a sharp intake of breath. Perfect.

  
With a proud smirk on his face, Karma stood behind Gakushuu and looked over his shoulder at the scene he had created.

  
A picnic blanket sat in the little clearing. Tall trees draped over the blanket, but there was a peak of skyline just above the blanket. Lanterns decorated the branches, and the dying light of the evening allowed them to paint a soft glow across the blanket. Candles sat on the floor, illuminating the ground. A spread of food lay upon the blanket, and there was a pile of pillows and blankets that Gakushuu and Karma could use to get comfortable.

The smirk stayed on his face as he felt Gakushuu tense in front of him.

  
Well, take that Gakushuu.

  
Gakushuu took a shuddering breath.

  
“W-Wow, is this- is this for me?” He turned sharply into Karma, probably not noticing he was behind him. Gakushuu’s face erupted into red at their proximity, and his eyes couldn’t remain on one fixed point, dragging up and down Karma’s face, hovering just below his nose.

  
Karma cocked an eyebrow.

  
“Well? Do you like it?” he asked completely normally. He didn’t bother to hide his smirk.

Gakushuu took a deep breath, practically breathing the same air as Karma. 

  
“No one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” Gakushuu answered quietly. 

Karma scoffed. Gakushuu had so many suitors at school, that just couldn’t be true.

  
He moved around Gakushuu, their hands brushing as he passed. Karma sat down upon the blanket and gestured for Gakushuu to sit as well. They sat, arranging the pillows and blankets until they were comfortable. He pulled out the food and they tucked in. Surprisingly there was no silence. They chatted, teased, snarked about everything from astrophysics to their teacher’s new haircut.

  
“It looks awful! Who would cut their hair into a mullet? It isn’t the 80s!” Gakushuu angrily commented. Karma laughed.

  
“Sorry Shuu, not all of us can have an impeccable fashion sense like you.” Karma answered back.

  
“What are you talking about? You always look really nice,” Gakushuu, eyes darkening as he looked Karma over.

  
“I’m wearing a sweater and jeans. Neither of which are clean. And both are plain.” Karma said in a deadpan. Gakushuu snorted. 

  
Gakushuu moaned quietly as he ate his dessert. 

  
“You’re such a good cook,” Gakushuu said wistfully around his mouthful of cake. There were crumbs all over his face. Karma reached over to push them away with his thumb.  
“Don’t speak with your mouth full Shuu,” Karma said, and he returned back to his cake. He’d made Gakushuu a dark chocolate and strawberry one. He knew Asano didn’t really like sweet things, but he did, so he’d gone for a compromise. He watched as Gakushuu shakily began to eat again.

  
When they were both done, Karma pulled out a deck of cards with a teasing smile.

  
“So Gakushuu? Feel like a game?” he asked the boy tauntingly. Gakushuu gave an answering smile.

  
“Always.”

  
Karma dealt out two hands. 

  
“Have you played spit before?” he asked as he laid out two sets of cards, one in front of him, and one in front of Gakushuu. Gakushuu looked at the familiar layout.  
“Its not called spit, its called slam,” Gakushuu said with a frown.

  
Karma disagreed.

  
“No, it’s spit!”

  
“Slam!”

  
“Spit!”

  
“Slam!”

  
“You don’t know shit!”

  
“Says you!”

  
Karma didn’t know who lunged first. It could’ve been either of them really. All he knew was that in practically no time at all Gakushuu was sitting on his thighs as Karma desperately held his wrists so that he didn’t get pinned beneath the other boy. Karma successfully tacked one of Gakushuu’s against his side, but couldn’t stop the other hand from forcing his wrist down against the blanket. Gakushuu’s back was arched and he struggled against Karma’s hold on his wrist whilst keeping the other wrist pinned. Karma snarled up at Gakushuu, because fuck it was annoying to be beneath the other boy like this.

  
Gakushuu made furious eye contact with Karma and opened his mouth to say something. His eyes lost that angry haze that had been there before as he really took in the position that they were in. God, had Karma mentioned how much he liked Gakushuu’s eyes? It made him so easy to read, they were so open, they ruined that perfect façade that Gakushuu tried so hard to keep in place.

  
Currently they were wide open, his face bright red as he realised where he was sitting. With a squeal, he released Karma and attempted to dive to the other side of the blanket. However, he wasn’t fast enough, and Karma took his opportunity. With a spin, he had Asano underneath him, both wrists above his head as he sat in the position that the other boy had been in before. Gakushuu’s face was bright red, he couldn’t be that tired already. They had only been fighting for about 5 minutes.

  
“Say it,” he said in Gakushuu’s face. Gakushuu’s eyes were so wide, and he opened and closed his mouth uselessly.

  
Karma shook his wrists where he had them pinned.

  
“Say that it’s called spit!”

  
“Jesus! Fine! Its called spit okay!” Gakushuu finally broke. Karma sat back on his haunches with a smug smile. Yes! He had one-upped Gakushuu!

  
Unfortunately their fighting had dislodged the cards, so Karma reshuffled them and lay them out once more. Gakushuu sat sourly opposite him.

  
“Ready for a game of **spit**?”

  
Gakushuu scowled.

  
“Fine. But winner gets to ask a question and the loser has to answer truthfully.”

  
Oho.

  
“Hmm, okay, what do you have in mind?”

Gakushuu thought for a second before steeling his nerve.

  
“Well, you’ll find out when I win, won’t you?” the strawberry-blond said with a smirk.

  
“You’re on.”

  
As it turns out, they were pretty evenly matched. Karma was faster than Gakushuu, but didn’t have nearly the same dexterity.

  
Karma just barely won the first round.

“Yes! Okay then…"

  
Gakushuu sat nervously waiting for the question, sipping on his hot tea that Karma had bought in a flask for him.

  
“What’s the furthest you’ve gone with someone?”

  
Gakushuu promptly spat out his tea, narrowly missing Karma’s white shoes. He sputtered, red in the face as Karma laughed at his reaction.

“What the hell kind of question was that?!” Gakushuu asked, angrily wiping tea from his chin.

  
“I’m just curious to who might have corrupted the pious school leader,” Karma said sarcastically with a shrug.

  
“Oh, and no half-assing this Shuu. I want details.”

  
“Fine then.” Gakushuu said bitterly and quietly, tensing his shoulders. They sat there in silence for a minute.

  
“I don’t have all night-“

  
“ARGH!” Gakushuu hid his face in his hands.

  
“ivegivenblowjobsandhandjobsaswellasfingeringagirl,” he said in one rush of breath, muffled by his palms. 

  
Karma snorted. It wasn't that big of a deal

  
“AHAH! So technically you’re a virgin!” Karma announced happily when he realised.

  
Wait, handjobs? Blowjobs??

  
“Wait, you’re not straight?” Karma questioned incredulously.

  
Gakushuu pulled his hands from his face and looked at Karma in horror.

  
“Y-you didn’t know?”

  
They sat in awkward silence. Gakushuu looked positively livid.

  
Karma hurried to fill the gap before Gakushuu misinterpreted his surprise.

  
“N-No! I’m not against you being…” he thought back to the confession Gakushuu had made, “bi?”

  
Gakushuu nodded from where he was angrily staring into the distance.

  
“In fact, I cant really speak. I’m probably gay.” Karma admitted himself. 

  
Gakushuu looked up.

  
“Probably?” he said in a monotone. Karma laughed.

  
“Hey, no sidetracks! You never answered my question either. Who did you go the furthest with? I’m assuming blowjob and handjob are the same person.”

  
Gakushuu went quiet again. He started biting his lip again. Could he stop that, it was driving Karma up the wall-

“Okay, if I tell you, you have to promise to keep it a secret.”

  
“Sure sure, whatever. It doesn’t matter to me. As long as I can tease you, then it’s okay.”

  
“God, he’s gonna kill me.” Gakushuu said, closing his eyes.

  
Okay, now Karma was interested. Who who who-

  
“Ren.”

  
There was a shocked second of silence as Karma took in his words. He recovered quickly.

  
“BAHAHAHA! YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU’VE SUCKED REN OFF BEFORE??? HE’S THE ONE YOU’VE GONE FURTHEST WITH???”

  
Gakushuu buried his face in his hands and groaned.

Karma laughed and laughed and laughed. Tears ran down his face as he trembled and thumped the ground.

  
“Oh my god, how long did he last???” he asked, wiping the tears from under his eyes. Gakushuu looked smug for a second, pretending to look at his nails.

  
“45 seconds."

  
Karma could barely keep it together. He thought he was going to die from laughter.

  
“HE DIDN’T EVEN LAST A MINUTE HOLY HELL!” Karma managed in-between fits of laughter. Even Gakushuu was giggling now.

  
“Wait, did he reciprocate?” Karma asked, curious to how long Gakushuu had lasted now.

  
Asano shook his head.

  
“This was back just after middle-school. He was really confused about his sexuality because he was attracted to me, but felt uncomfortable touching me because he never actually liked boys.”

  
“So why did you go along with it if you didn’t get anything out of it?”

  
Gakushuu smiled slightly.

  
“Well, it was nice to help him figure stuff out. He is one of my best friends after all. And I was just coming to terms with the fact that I liked boys, and wanted to practice. Mutually beneficial.” 

  
Karma could understand that.

  
They played again. This time Gakushuu won.

  
“Hmm, okay…” Gakushuu bit his lip again, and Karma had to look away. It took a while, and Karma gave an exaggerated fake yawn. Gakushuu flushed and blurted something out.

“W-Why did you come to this school?”

  
Karma was silent.

  
“Of all the questions you could’ve asked, that was the one you went for.”

  
Gakushuu flushed.

  
“You literally could’ve asked me the secret 3E had in middle school, but nooooo,” Karma drawled, unimpressed.

  
“I wouldn’t force you to tell me that. I know more than I should do about that, and its obviously a touchy subject. I’ll let you tell me in time.” Gakushuu said quietly.

  
Huh. Well wasn’t that sweet.

  
“Its just,” Gakushuu continued, “all of your friends went to other schools, and after what my father did to you and how we treated you, I wouldn’t have thought-“

  
“You.”

  
Gakushuu fell silent.

  
“I followed you here.”

  
Gakushuu choked a little and muttered something that might’ve been a prayer.

  
“You’re the best motivation that I’ve ever had. Plus, your dad lets me off for fighting regularly, so it was less likely I’d be expelled from this school. Also, everyone here is so much more interesting that regular people. Bullying normal people isn’t nearly as fun as bullying you and your squad.” Karma said with a laugh. He didn't think that it was that personal of a question.

  
“But, what about your friends?”

  
Karma shrugged.

  
“I’m still in touch with them, and I’ve made new ones here. I’ve got you, haven’t I?” 

  
The last part came out before Karma could stop it. He clamped his mouth shut. Gakushuu looked up sharply.

  
“W-we’re friends?” Gakushuu said incredulously.

Karma felt hurt stab through his body. He pretended like he didn’t care.

  
“Yeah, what about it?” he said far too coldly to be non-suspicious.

  
“I thought we were more than that,” Gakushuu explained softly. He refused to meet Karma’s gaze.

  
Oh.

  
Ooohhhh.

  
He began to laugh, relief flooding through his system.

  
“Haha! Now I have two things to hold over Ren!”

  
Something odd (akin to hope?) filled Gakushuu’s eyes.

  
“Me and Ren aren’t together you kn-“

  
“Me! I’m your best friend!”

  
Gakushuu’s eyes shut off immediately. Karma was too busy laughing to care.

  
“Yknow Shuu, I think that you’re my best friend too.” He said with a grin. Man, it felt nice to have a friendship like this.

  
He looked up to see Gakushuu fixing him with an odd expression. Fondness, anger, and something else that he couldn’t pinpoint. And, written across his face, plain as day, was surrender. He opened his mouth and closed it again. When Gakushyu seemed to know what to say, he spoke softly.

  
“Thanks, Karma.”

  
“No problem. Bro.” 

Gakushuu looked unimpressed.

  
“Don’t call me bro.”

  
“Why not?! What else should I call you? Baby?” Karma said with a teasing glint, thinking about what Kayano used to call Nagisa.

  
Gakushuu went red all over again and Karma laughed. The shrill sound of a ringtone broke the laughter. Gakushuu fished his phone out of his pocket, but was too late to pick up the call.

  
“Its my dad,” he told Karma. 

  
“Shit! Its past 10!” Gakushuu continued, anxiety evident in his features. He started texting rapidly, probably explaining things to his father.

  
“Its okay, lets pack up. I can walk you home.”

  
They packed up quickly, putting everything back into the basket Karma had brought. Gakushuu was pulling down the lanterns, and his shirt rode up. A little stretch of skin poked out from above his waistline and Karma wouldn’t help but be distracted. Weird.

  
Once everything was packed away, they began to leave the park at a quick rate, Gakushuu leading the way with a long stride.

  
“Hey, slow down Gakushuu,” Karma said, wrapping an arm around Gakushuu’s shoulders. “Its not that big of a deal.”

  
Gakushuu scowled.

  
“Easy for you to say, I’ve never been out this late without telling my father beforehand.”

  
“Oh. You’re scared he’s gonna be mad,” Karma filled in the gaps. He felt angry. If Gakushuu was this nervous about being home at 10, at age 16, then something must be up. By God, if that man hurt Gakushuu in anyway-

  
“Hey, it’s not like that,” Gakushuu reassured softly, wrapping his arm around Karma’s waist. “He’s been getting better. He just gets protective sometimes. I’m everything he has.”

  
Karma released the breath he had been holding. They walked in comfortable silence the rest of the way, arms wrapped around each other. 

  
They neared Gakushuu’s house, and just before they reached the threshold Gakushuu stopped him.

  
“Karma.”

  
“Yes?”

  
“I’m going to wait for you.”

  
Karma was confused. Wait for him to do what?

  
“I’m tired of being the only one who understands,” Gakushuu said quietly, and Karma struggled to concentrate on his words, as the urge to push Gakushuu’s hair behind his ear was very very strong. 

  
Gakushuu pulled away from Karma, who mourned the loss of warmth, but it was short-lived as got to admire Gakushuu’s profile in the dark.   
He could kinda see that Gakushuu was saying something, but he didn’t look that bothered about it, so Karma didn’t tune in. Instead, he brushed his thumb over Gakushuu’s cheek again. His skin was so soft. He felt Gakushuu’s breath catch.

  
“Karma, are you listening to me?” Gakushuu asked.

  
“Hmph? Nah, not really,” Karma answered. Gakushuu sighed dejectedly.

  
He closed his arms around Karma’s waist once more and Karma froze.

  
“Come and talk to me when you understand, okay?” he whispered.

  
Understand what?? Karma really couldn’t think straight at this moment, this was the time for problems Gakushuu.

  
Gakushuu turned to leave, and Karma stepped away. As he turned to go, a hand cupped his face and a pair of lips were pressed against his cheek. It was soft and fleeting, and made Karma’s insides feel like jelly. 

“Thank you for tonight. I had a really nice time. And I apologise for today in the toilet. I accept your apology too,” Gakushuu said with a wink, and then he was gone.

  
Karma didn’t move for a good few minutes. He heard the door open briefly and Asano Snr’s voice, but it was short lived and from where he was standing he couldn’t see them.

  
He started to walk home. He felt giddy. He didn’t need to compete against Asano anymore! They were best friends! The butterflies in his stomach made him giggle and he practically skipped home.

* * *

  
That night in bed, he thought about Gakushuu. His hair, his voice, the way his throat moved when he ate, the soft fall of his hair in his eyes, and his lips. 

  
If this is what having a best friend felt like, well, Karma could get used to it. Sure, he and Nagisa had been close, but nothing compared to this. 

  
He reassured himself. 

  
Yes, Gakushuu was definitely his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my checklist for this chappy:  
> Angst? Tick.  
> Pining? Tick.  
> Cooking? Tick.  
> Homoerotic fights that end in one of them getting pinned against the floor? Tick.  
> Ren bashing? Tick.  
> Gakushuu blushing an obscene amount? Also tick.
> 
> This chapter was physically hurting me as I wrote it. You don't understand how badly I wanted to throw in the towel and write paragraphs of cute dates and kissing scenes. But no. I must suffer. You must suffer. 
> 
> Don't worry though, they will eventually go on cute dates. Maybe. 
> 
> Please leave your thoughts! Ideas, questions, criticism, how much you hate my guts, literally anything.  
> Stay healthy <3


	3. Gakushuu Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu's POV of the past events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo!
> 
> Me? Actually updating at a reasonable time? Unheard of.
> 
> Anyways, this was supposed to be serious, and it turned out as crack. Everyone is a little OOC, but take it as Gakushuu having his first crush. You cannot tell me that it wouldn't be absolute chaos. 
> 
> I found myself with some free time so I wrote this- I will be updating more often (hopefully) but my free time is rapidly diminishing as my family seem to be dead set on making me busy :/
> 
> Enjoy!

** Last events written from Gakushuu's perspective **

  
The day he knew that he was into Karma Akabane, was the day he thought that he had gone insane.

In true 'them' fashion, it had been in the middle of an English debate, meaning absolute hell breaking lose in their class should they be on separate sides of the debate. Sometimes, Gakushuu was convinced that Karma chose ideals that he didn't believe in simply to counter him. But this time, they were both actually on separate sides. He couldn’t even remember the debate question, just that it was one of those idiotic ones where it was completely opinion based rather than logic based. Karma had very confidently said yes, whilst Gakushuu had countered with a no. The problem with opinion based debates was that it could be argued for a very long time without much leeway on either side. The other classmates had known that as soon as the two of them were on separate sides, that was the cue to not get involved. Even the teacher sat back and simply sipped her tea. Again, in a very 'them' fashion, as the argument got more heated they got more physical Gakushuu had his fingernails subtly digging into Karma's palms on top of the table, and Karma had just grabbed a fistful of Gakushuu's shirt and had tugged him towards him. 

  
  
The way Karma's mouth moved when he snarled, the way his eyes lit up like a bonfire when he was passionate, the peek of white teeth behind the curl of his lip distracted Gakushuu in a way that he hadn't noticed before. Karma is attractive to you, his dumb, idiot mind had supplied. Shit, why did this have to happen now? 

  
  
He could suddenly feel the weight of Karma's hand beneath his, and should he just remove his nails and curl his fingers then they would be holding hands. Karma's eyes were fixed intensely upon him, and it made him want to shiver where he stood. That slope of his smug smile when he made a point that he thought was good was intoxicating. God, Gakushuu would let him win just to see those eyes light up like that again.

  
_What._

  
No no no, let him win??? That was practically as bad as giving up. But the way they were standing, just a little push forward and their lips would be touching, he would be practically leaning into Karma’s arms-

  
  
  
Thankfully the teacher ended the debate after Karma had finished his point, which was very good because with how dry Gakushuu's mouth was he wasn't sure he would've been able to say anything more than the garbled noises his brain.

Okay, logically he knew that Karma was attractive. He had noticed it before. Did he like him then? 

  
  
Gakushuu turned subtly in his chair towards Karma. Karma noticed him staring and sent him a wolfish grin with a slicing motion across his neck.

Yep, okay, _definitely interested._

As soon as class ended, he flipped onto Ren's lap his face on one thigh and his legs propped up on a chair behind him, therefore keeping him firmly in place so Gakushuu could talk to him. Ren squawked and attempted to poke the dead body in his lap to move it, but to no avail. This was Gakushuu's comfort position. Ren knew this. It was saved exclusively for exams or dealing with his father. He distantly heard Karma ask one of the Virtuosos who were sitting somewhere around him if he was okay. By the lack of answer, they had probably shrugged. God, his voice was nice, imagine him laughing, how amazing that would be.

  
  
Suddenly he felt a hand in his hair and he tensed. The hand grabbed his strands tightly nearly causing him to wince, but he was an Asano and Asanos have restraint. So instead he internally screamed. He heard Karma laugh (bdbejwoelzvzvsys okay yeah that was more than amazing) and a quiet "it was my win earlier, second place," and then the hand was GONE and thankfully Karma didn't stay long enough to hear Gakushuu's CONFUSED SCREAM into Ren's THIGHS, oh my good LORD JESUS-

  
  
That had been the hottest thing Gakushuu had ever experienced in his goddamn life, and a boy had once bench pressed his entire weight to impress him. Could Karma bench press him??? _Fuckkkk._

Ren had managed to turn him so he was facing the ceiling.

"I'm not sure he's breathing."

  
  
"Do we need to CPR?"

  
  
"Oh my God what just happened?"

Gakushuu poked Ren once in the side.

"Oh thank God he's alive."

"What happened? Can anyone explain to me?"

  
Gakushuu opened his mouth. All that came out was a hoarse groan. He poked Ren again and turned around. He needed to bury his sorrows in thighs. Preferably Karma's thighs. He imagined his head being crushed between them. He let out another hoarse groan into Ren. Why wasn’t Ren understanding his sorrows?

  
"Okay, now I'm really concerned."

"Boss, you're going to have to talk to us."  
  


  
Gakushuu poked Ren again. 

"mMmmKarmmisHotmmm" came the muffled response from Ren's leg.

"You're going to have to speak up dude."

"Can you lift your head?"

  
Why were his friends so dense? Couldn't they see that he was having a crisis? Not his bisexual crisis, that had happened last summer when he had watched Harry Styles and Kendell Jenner on James Cordon's show and had also watched his dick get hard. Thankfully his dad hadn't been there. British accents would forever haunt him though. Karma in a British accent? Initially it would be weird, but Gakushuu was pretty sure he could get into it-

  
A pair of hands turned him over and he was met by Ren's half smiling half terrified face. Understanding flickered on his face. Gakushuu narrowed his eyes.

  
"Is it code red?" Ren asked.

  
"What's code red?"

  
"Code red?" 

  
"Stop with the confusing stuff guys," the others asked.

  
Code red had been what Gakushuu had screeched into the phone to Ren after an embarrassing jerk to Harry Styles dancing on stage. It had been their designated name for boy trouble since then. Code blue was for girls. Ren had used Code Red only once, and he could only hope that the outcome of using Code Red would be the same as what happened to Ren. No images, Gakushuu needed to stay completely rational right now. Breathe in, breathe out.

  
Gakushuu nodded at him.  
  


  
Ren's eyes sparkled. He also looked like he was going to cry.

"And is it, well, a double code red??" He asked, the glee growing on his face but also the terror.

  
If by double red he was referencing Karma's hair then Ren was an idiot. He hated that he understood, it made him feel like an idiot. Well, he certainly wasn’t functioning on peak brainpower at the moment since all he could think of was the certain red-head in question, just with less clothes than usual (NO IMAGES BRAIN, HE NEEDED TO STAY RATIONAL). He nodded again at Ren.

  
Ren looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or scream. Gakushuu stared up at the ceiling pitifully. Woe is me, he thought as he pondered whether Karma would choke him against a storage cupboard in their next fight. That might top the hottest moment of Gakushuu’s life, a new record set 2 minutes ago, by said redhead.

  
Ren poked him and he absentmindedly nodded.

  
"Gakushuu likes Karma," Ren told the others. Goddammit, he hadn't agreed to that, he thought, not moving from his spot. The shrieks and sputtering around him comforted him. It was good that he wasn’t alone in his confusion. It reflected his inner voice, which was currently screaming things like "AHHHHH" or "BICEPS" or even "?!?!?"

  
“YOU WHAT!” Seo cried.

  
“ABOUT FUCKING TIME!” Araki screeched.

  
“Bsnobiuwbqwec,” went Koyama, who had promptly dropped his hot coffee thermos all down his shirt in the surprise.

  
Ren had shakily laughed and started to type furiously on his phone. With a completely manly scream Gakushuu launched himself out of Ren’s lap and attempted to karate chop the phone out of Ren’s hands.  
  


“YOU CAN’T TELL HIM!” Gakushuu cried, voice about 20 pitches higher than normal. After a successful kick to Ren’s face (the poor asshole, Gakushuu thought looking back, he had just been trying to help) and a non-successful lunge to the phone later, the phone landed with a crack on the floor.

  
“I WASN’T TELLING HIM!” Ren shouted, picking up his broken phone. “I WAS WRITING MY FINAL WILL! IF YOU AND AKABANE GET TOGETHER THEN SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE AND I WANT TO BE PREPARED!” which Gakushuu didn’t buy for one second. Ren cradled his now broken phone, and he vaguely heard Seo shaking Koyama’s unconscious body on the floor. Araki was trying to fend off the students arriving for their next lesson after break while Gakushuu’s eyes honed in on the phone. **_No witnesses_** , a voice said in his brain, which sounded suspiciously like his father.

  
Ren noticed.

  
“Asano Gakushuu, don’t you dare, or I actually will tell him-“ Ren warned but couldn’t stop the collision of Gakushuu into his left side. 

  
“ASANO!” Seo laugh-cried as Gakushuu pulled at Ren’s hair. He vaguely saw Araki give up on fending students off and start to take photos. 

  
“I’ll just keep it safe for the time being!!!! JUST IN CASE!” Gakushuu whined as he grabbed for Ren’s phone. His father would have been very disappointed watching his son, the current regional judo champion, lose to a to a boy with longer limbs. It was very embarrassing to be seen in that position at all, with one of Ren’s hands placed firmly on Gakushuu’s face as the other was stretched out behind him, just out of Gakushuu’s reach-

  
“Should we stop them?” asked a concerned classmate to the teacher, who had just arrived. 

  
“No, I’ve never seen the boy lose his calm like his before, let him ride it out,” said the terrified Japanese teacher who just watched the display with mild interest, a lot of fear.  
  


“GAKUSHUU PLEASE!” Ren cried, laughing fully now at Gakushuu’s pitiful display at a fight. Koyama was in tears on the floor beside them.

  
“GIVE!” Gakushuu wailed.

  
“What’s going on?” Karma asked, very confused. Wasn’t Gakushuu a martial artist or something?

  
Gakushuu’s massive screech startled Ren, and he dropped his phone once more. Like a viper Gakushuu pounced before Karma could pick it up, and with another all-mighty shriek he lobbed the phone out of the open window.

  
Silence. 

  
Gakushuu wanted to lob himself out of the open window as well. Or shove a metal fork into the outlet. Perhaps steal Araki’s camera. Maybe tell his father that he wanted to be an arts major. Actually, that would kill Gakuhou before he could kill Gakushuu, that wasn’t productive.

  
“Asano-kun, are you okay?” the poor teacher asked kindly, concern laced all across her feature. Gakushuu snapped out of his reverie to see Karma staring at him weirdly. Shit, Gakushuu was not acting cool right now.

  
Hurriedly draping himself across one of the desks, he tried to show off his butt as best as possible (he was very proud of his ass, many painful hours had been spent doing squats because apparently thighs were a martial artist’s best weapon, according to his father and apparently past Gakushuu did not understand sarcasm and had proceeded to take the words to heart. His father still mocked him).

“Yes Kiyoko-san! I am VERY MUCH OKAY! Today I have crushed the dreams of many people,” he announced in a strained voice, before promptly falling off the desk, unfortunately landing face up, meaning he couldn’t show off his ass, “ow, fuck- and did 50 press ups at the speed of light!”

  
Seo, Koyama and Araki HOWLED with laughter. Ren would’ve laughed, but he was too busy hanging out of the window, trying to see where his phone had landed.  
Gakushuu felt dead inside, more so than he normally did. 

  
Karma looked half amused half concerned, and simply snorted before making his way to his desk.

  
“Only fifty? That’s weak Gakushuu. I could beat that without breaking a sweat. Not sure about the speed of light, but we should compete one day,” he said as he walked past Gakushuu’s deceased body where it lay on the classroom floor. So Karma probably could bench-press him, Gakushuu’s traitorous brain supplied when he needed to get it together, what would you dad think if he saw you like this-

  
Oh dear god. His father was going to hear about this, wasn't he?

  
That was enough to snap his brain into action. He bodily hauled his friends into their seats, apologising profusely to the poor teacher and his amused classmates (who had seen this coming for a very long time). 

Well then. 

  
During lunchtime, he had called his emergency committee together (consisting of the only 4 true friends that he had, because let’s be honest, he had severe trust issues and wouldn’t tell anyone else).

  
“Asano, literally just flirt with him,” Koyama said (absolute love expert that he was).

  
“Yeah, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” Seo asked (rich coming from someone who couldn’t even sort it out with one girl).

  
“He could reject me (which I will never live down anyway!), telling everyone in the school that I’m bi, I get mercilessly bullied, my grades drop and my father throws me out of my house,” Gakushuu commented dryly, from his position once again upon the floor. You could never be too careful! These things did happen! Especially with a genius delinquent for a crush and a slightly deranged genius father.

  
Cue awkward silence.

  
“Dude, that’s like, not going to happen. Haven’t you already come out to your dad?”

  
“Well, erm, about that, so, erm, maybe?”

  
Seo raised an eyebrow at him.

  
“Dude.”

  
Gakushuu sighed. 

  
“Okay, so I haven’t come out to him, so what?”

He had been too scared! It was just after middle school, and his father and him hadn't worked things out then. Also, how was he supposed to tell his father that he had figured this out from _Harry Styles of all people_ like a fucking preteen girl. Looking back though, it made a lot of sense. His old fixation with the son of his father's fraud lawyer was certainly an odd one.

"Well, that’s got to be your first step. He would flip if the first thing he heard about your sexuality was that you were dating school delinquent and rumoured arsonist Karma Akabane.”

  
Gakushuu shuddered at that scene. He could imagine the awkward confrontation already.

  
  
“Leaving my father aside, what do I do?”

  
  
Everyone looked at Ren, the only reliable source for all of this. 

  
  
“Just drop hints. It’s not like he doesn’t like you, the guy wears your jacket to school every day, you fight and bicker like an old married couple. Plus, its obvious that he treats you differently to everyone else.” Ren said.

  
  
Gakushuu thought about. Thought about the secret smiles that he and Karma shared, the glittering eyes and passionate voices. It sent his heart into a sputtering fit, and it was all that he could manage to keep his face straight in front of his friends. It didn’t seem to work by the soft, fond smiles.

  
  
“Wait, you guys, don’t care? That I like him?” He knew that they didn’t exactly get on well, or hadn’t in the past. He didn’t want to make things awkward between his friends.

“It’s okay. We just want you to be happy, and plus everything is in the past anyway. He’s not that bad when you get to know him,” Araki said, and Gakushuu was struck by just how much he cared for his friends. A year ago he considered them underlings, but now? Friends.

  
  
“Exactly! The other day, me and him had a massive discussion about the superior science, and eve though he said chemistry, it was fun to talk-“

  
  
Gakushuu tuned out of Koyama’s conversation, simply content to think. He had never ever felt this way about anyone. Sure, he’d had a girlfriend back in middle school for a short period of time, but it was for appearances. He had been attracted to people before, but he’d been starting to think he was aromantic. But then Karma had come into his life and turned everything around, as per usual. For the first time, Gakushuu felt like he properly was enjoying life. He had good friends, good grades, a crush (!) and he was working things out with his dad. He felt like his heart was going to burst with how happy he was.

  
He sat up suddenly.

  
“Okay! I’m going to flirt the fuck out of him! He isn’t going to know what hit him!” He announced smugly, throwing Seo out of his rant about seafood.

  
  
“Go on boss!”

  
  
“We believe in you!”

  
  
And so started his wooing of Karma Akabane. He invited him to his football game, as everyone knew that was what every good wannabe boyfriend asked of their date. Karma had looked suspicious, but had accepted, with something about ‘seeing how bad he was’ but the blinding smile that Gakushuu had let slip onto his face seemingly confused Karma. He made sure to play extra hard, get extra sweaty and scored many goals, including the winning one. His skin burned with the idea that Karma was watching him. Ren and Seo jabbed at him the whole game about ‘supporting sweet Asano!’ and Gakushuu had to kick them before they gave anything away, his face burning. 

  
  
He sent Karma sweet smiles, invited him to sit with them, and partnered with him for class tasks. And then. Then. A week later, Karma left his hoodie upon Asano’s desk. They had officially swapped jackets. He could feel that his face was on fire. He couldn’t open his mouth. Butterflies rioted up and down his throat to his stomach and he couldn’t breathe. The slight smirk that Karma sent him as he left school in it made him feel weak in the knees. He heard Ren choke as he approached them, his face a deep red, and Araki had to rip open his bag to get access to his camera.

“Say cheese! This is going into the photo album of Gakushuu trying to court a delinquent!”

  
  
Just then, Karma approached, in his jacket, arms behind his head like some anime protagonist.

  
  
“You going home Asano? Lemme walk with you,” he said casually, with that competitive smirk on his face again that made Gakushuu feel like he was burning. All he could manage was a nod, and he followed after the boy through the gate.  
  
  


He heard Seo cry about ditching him, but was cut off by Koyama’s elbow and Araki’s camera. Karma turned and flipped them off before starting up a conversation with Gakushuu about school. It was so casual, and Gakushuu adored every second of the walk home. Karma walked him all the way home to his gate, and only then did he make a teasing comment about the hoodie. Thankfully his father didn’t comment about Gakushuu smiling dopily at dinner, but he did look curious.

  
  
Gakushuu went out of his way for Karma from then on. He bought him juice boxes and placed them on his desk. The knowing looks that his classmates sent him were ignored. Unfortunately, his back was to Karma, so he had to trust Koyama’s perspective.

  
  
“I’m not sure! He looked confused but then looked a bit angry, but he drank it anyway. Maybe he was sad that you paid for it.” Koyama informed him with a shrug. Gakushuu frowned, but was not discouraged.

  
  
Especially not after Karma dragged him into the cafeteria and forced him to let him pay for his lunch. There was a burning competitiveness in Karma’s eyes that made Gakushuu flush, and he picked the cheapest option, trying not to make a scene. Karma scoffed loudly, and forced him to choose something that he actually wanted. The curious, but not judging faces of his peers surrounded him as he and Karma ate lunch together, after Gakushuu had asked to eat with him. The lunch that Gakushuu had made for himself that morning sat unmentioned in his school bag. Karma looked slightly odd throughout lunch, like he was thinking about something he didn’t like. It confused Gakushuu, but he chalked it down to all of the stares.  
  


  
Gakushuu could barely wipe the massive grin off of his face after lunch, and beamed at his friends when they sent him thumbs up when they entered the classroom together.

  
Gakushuu let things be at that level for a while. He was so happy, and he was scared to jinx this blissful period by changing it. Time passed, with Karma supporting him at tournaments, and buying him snacks. They spent lunchtimes together (when Gakushuu could, he had many clubs and commitments, but if anyone noticed that he had quit a few, no one said anything). After a while, Gakushuu decided that he would shake things up. He spent ages that morning making lunch for the two of them. There was even enough left to put something together for his father. He started basic, with some meat and rice with salad, and he put some cookies in there that he had stress baked the night before. His father had looked positively floored as Gakushuu handed him the box at breakfast, and the awkward silence that filled the mealtime made Gakushuu feel slightly proud. 

  
  
When he handed Karma his box that lunchtime, before rushing off to basketball with a massive blush on face, he regretted not being able to see the look on Karma’s face as he ate what he had made. Karma didn’t say anything about it as they walked home, didn't even mock him, and it left Gakushuu stewing with nerves the whole evening. What if he hadn’t liked it? What if Gakushuu had made things weird? Imagine if he had hated your cooking. God, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had ruined this happy period with a stupid lunch box. He chewed at his nails angrily, until his father pulled his hand away from his mouth. He tensed, his father barely touched him, not to hit him or hug him.

  
  
His father stubbornly met his gaze over the dinner table. Throughout his whole life, if Gakuhou Asano had nothing to teach his son, they didn’t speak. And it was too much too soon to start changing that immediately. So (surprisingly) Gakuhou had requested a neutral zone. The dinner and breakfast table were neutral territories, where they discussed ‘things’. Initially, it had consisted of talking about Gakushuu’s lawsuit on his father, and how Gakuhou would counter it. But, as things had progressed, Gakushuu noticed that they were mentioning it less and less. He knew that his father had noticed it too, and neither of them said anything. His father was trying, Gakushuu thought. He was uncomfortable, but his father’s current therapist (the fourth one, a military women who took absolutely no shit, and was about as smart as his father) had reached out to him to tell him to give his father a chance. Gakushuu could very vividly remember the first session with this women, and afterwards his father had come home looking so confused about his life choices that Gakushuu had sent the women a bunch of flowers. They had stayed in touch ever since. 

  
  
“What’s going on Gakushuu?” he asked seriously. 

  
  
Gakushuu froze in his mental panic.

  
  
“Nothing father,” Gakushuu said stonily. He wasn’t doing this tonight. Unfortunately, his father had never been very good at leaving things be.

  
  
“I do have eyes, Gakushuu. You’ve quite some of your clubs, making extra lunches in the morning, coming home looking like you’ve been drugged, wearing clothes that aren’t your own and your teachers have reported more distractions in class. I can’t have you slipping son. If there is an issue, tell me, and I’ll have it sorted for you.”

  
  
Gakushuu felt rage course through him. His father wasn’t even concerned about him, just his appearance. How dare he pretend to care. Throwing money at issues he didn’t have any knowledge of.

  
  
“There is no issue father. I will strive to regain my previous routine.” Gakushuu returned, voice cold.

  
  
His father’s face twitched. 

  
  
“Gakushuu. I asked you a question. What is the issue.” His father asked, voice a bit more steely. 

  
  
Gakushuu’s eyes snapped up to meet the identical ones across from him.

  
  
“Don’t start pretending to care now. I said, there is no issue, so there is no issue.” Gakushuu spoke angrily. He blamed his lack of normal control over his nerves. He really couldn’t deal with this at the moment.

  
  
He watched as his father paled, in anger or regret, he couldn’t tell, but his eyes glowed with something strong, that sent fear through his body.

  
  
“Don’t start with me brat, just because you have a certain degree of freedom now doesn’t give you the right to speak to me like that.” Gakuhou snarled.

  
  
“You yeah? Why not? What have you done to deserve my respect? Absolutely nothing!” Gakushuu countered back, anger and hurt rushing through his veins.

  
  
His father looked different now, not pissed, but something else.

  
  
“I’m showing concern about you, and this is how you react?” Gakuhou said back, voice softening a bit, eyes moving from Gakushuu’s down to his plate. If he had been in a better mindset, Gakushuu would have noticed that this was his father trying to show him he cared. But, Gakushuu wasn’t in that right mindset and he didn’t notice the change in tactic.

  
  
“You only care about my grades! About how my appearance has changed! Is that all I am to you? A walking promotion?” Gakushuu seethed, letting out all of the pain from the day at his father, plus his lingering anxieties of his situation. 

  
  
“Gakushuu, stop-“

  
  
“How dare you! Pretending to care now! Don’t worry Gakushuu, let Daddy throw money at your issues because he doesn’t know any other way of showing empathy!”

  
  
“Gakushuu! Stop that! You know that’s not what I meant!”

  
  
“Be more like your me, your father! I’m perfect and you’re not! I get it! I understand that I’m a disappointment to you! Sorry that I’ll never live up to the Asano name.”

  
  
Gakuhou took the tirade like a champion, sitting there in guilty silence, refusing to make eye contact as his son let go of every trouble and insecurity he had felt for a long time.  
Gakushuu huffed angrily at his father’s lack of a reaction.

  
  
“Are you done?” his father finally said, meeting his son’s furious gaze.

  
  
Gakushuu flinched and stormed off to his room. He heard his father sigh from where he sat. Getting into his room, he locked the door and screamed into his pillow. After a few minutes, he heard his father’s footsteps approach his door, before a tentative knock. 

  
  
“Gakushuu? Can I come in?” came the muffled voice of his father.

  
  
“Go away,” Gakushuu petulantly called from his pillow.

  
  
A sigh. “Gakushuu. Come on.”

  
  
“NO.” Gakushuu called once more.

  
  
“Please.”

  
  
Gakushuu paused at that. His father never said please.

  
  
“Not right now,” he settled for. He was still angry, sad, and very very _stressed_.

  
  
Another sigh of resignation.

  
  
“Fine, but we are talking in the morning.”

  
  
He heard the footsteps leave the doorway, and Gakushuu allowed the first tears to fall.

* * *

He didn’t get much sleep that night. Any, to be precise. He couldn’t rest with all of the thoughts inside his head. He opted instead for a cheat day from his routine, allowing himself to get lost in some Netflix series Ren had recommended him. By the time the clock reached 5, Gakushuu felt perfectly numb. 

  
  
He went downstairs, having slept in his school uniform, and began to make lunch for himself on auto-pilot. He hesitated, before thinking, fuck it, and made Karma a lunch too. It was obviously comfort food, lots of rice and cheese. He started to make breakfast too, and told the housekeeper to leave it this morning. He made pancakes and bacon, and drizzled it in lots of syrup. Sue him for being sad. He had packed his bag and eaten his breakfast by the time he heard his father get up. Panicking, he grabbed the lunches and bolted.

  
  
“Gakushuu, seriously-“ he heard his father say, before he had closed the door behind him.

  
  
He didn’t chase after him. Gakushuu hoped he noticed the plate full of pancakes for him on the table. A peace offering. A ‘we’ll talk, but I’m not quite ready yet’.  
Unfortunately, it was still 6.30, and school didn’t officially open for another hour and a half. 

  
  
So, he made his way to the closest friend’s house, being Seo’s.

  
  
Seo looked concerned, but said nothing as he let Gakushuu in. He politely declined the offer of breakfast, and thankfully Seo got the hint that Gakushuu didn’t want to talk about it.

  
  
At school, he struggled to pay attention. He was tired, physically and emotionally, and missed his name in the register when it was called. He could feel concern radiating from his friends, especially when he answered a question wrong in English.

  
  
“Are you okay Asano?” Araki asked him from where he sat next to him in class.

  
  
“Yeah, just didn’t sleep well. Don’t worry about it,” he dismissed easily. 

  
  
The day passed in easy monotony. He gave Karma his lunch once more, and they ate together, but with his friends this time. They seemed particularly protective of him today, despite not asking questions. Gakushuu appreciated it.

  
  
The day ended with clubs. He was looking forward to judo and kicking the shit out of Tsubara to escape his troubles. Seo and Araki sat and watched, the newspaper club having been cancelled due to a teacher being sick. They cheered him on as he repeatedly flipped poor Tsubara onto his back, the only one dumb enough to be willing to fight him in these moods. He had stayed in this role since middle-school, and felt obligated to continue.

  
  
After a while, they sat to cool down with Araki and Seo, letting the chat about journalism fill the silence. Suddenly, Araki furiously poked him.

  
  
“ASANO! WHY IS YOUR DAD HERE?” He whispered, scared.

  
  
Gakushuu’s father never came to pick him up from anything. Gakushuu scowled, deciding to face his fate head on. Their poor coach had been approached by his father, and looked partially like he was going to piss himself, despite their coach standing a few inches taller than his father.

  
  
He rolled his eyes, but decided to save the unfortunate coach. The studio had gone suspiciously quiet, most of them knowing about Gakushuu’s father.

  
  
“Asano-kun! Its must be so nice having a father that can do martial arts as well to practice against!” The coach announced, sounding surprised at how calm Gakushuu’s father was, despite the rumours. 

  
  
“Gakushuu refuses to practice against me actually, he claims I go too easy on him. He still doesn’t win however,” Gakuhou mentioned, pointedly looking at his son. Gakushuu’s scowl deepened further. 

  
  
“Oh! That’s a shame. You should come down sometime and we could spar together. It would be nice to have a another help to run the club,” the teacher said, lulled into a false sense of security.

  
  
The smile his father sent his teacher was awfully fake but Gakushuu could see that the asshole was laughing.

  
  
“I’d love-“

  
  
“AHEM we’ll have to respectfully decline.” Gakushuu interjected. Both adults looked amused by him.

  
  
Gakushuu fake a polite cough.

  
  
“Sensei, could I talk to my father alone?”

  
  
The judo teacher looked between the two of them, shook his head and gave them space. The chatter didn’t restart, everyone obviously listening in to their conversation. So Gakushuu switched up the language.

  
  
“And what do you think you’re doing here?” Gakushuu asked his father in perfect Mandarin, his arms crossed.

  
  
His father looked even more amused at the language shift, but thankfully played along.

  
  
“I’ve come to pick you up from judo,” he said, the dazzling smile he kept for corporate meetups on his face. Gakushuu felt blinded.

  
  
“Jesus, turn your smile down a few notches. I don’t want to talk to you, go away.” Gakushuu said bluntly, before turning on his heel. He didn’t take a step before his father had grabbed the collar of his outfit.

  
  
“Come back here brat. You can’t run forever.” His father stated, amusement written all over his face.

  
  
Gakushuu huffed

  
  
“I can do whatever I want. Also don’t call me brat.”

  
  
“No, you can’t. But you are a brat. You're my brat”

  
  
“Yes I can. Then I get to call you bitch. Cus you're my bitch.” Gakushuu said triumphantly, if not a little immaturely, taking advantage of his father’s good humour.

  
  
Gakuhou looked a bit confused, but actually barked out a laugh. Well, that was rare.

  
  
“Did you just call me bitch?”

  
  
Gakushuu put his smuggest smile on his face.

  
  
“Yes I did.”

  
  
“That makes you a son of a bitch.” His father said with an equally smug smile.

  
  
“Bastard.”

  
  
“Technically, I’m not, and you know I’m not son. You've met your grandparents.”

  
  
“Okay then, whore.”

  
  
Gakuhou had to choke back his laugh then. 

  
  
“W-whore??”

  
  
“You’ve had sex haven’t you? Whore. Not very Christian of you Father.”

  
  
“How would you know??”

  
  
There was a second of silence where Gakushuu could visibly see his father wince.

  
  
“Ah, I see my mistake now.”

  
  
The muffled sounds of a dying cow was heard behind them, and they both turned to see the whole judo class trying not to laugh as the Chinese exchange student translated their conversation.

  
  
When they were caught, Seo attempted to cough, but failed badly, and let out all the held laughter. It set off the whole class.

  
  
“Asa-Asano!!! You called your dad a whore!!!” Araki wheezed as he banged his fist on the floor. The exchange student was giggling, but a few rapid fire threats in Mandarin shut him up very quickly.

  
  
Gakuhou sighed.

  
  
“Look, son. I wanted to clear the air. I’m not forcing you to do anything, but at least walk home with me.” Gakuhou said awkwardly back in Japanese, quietly so the others couldn’t hear them.

  
  
Gakushuu sighed, and pondered. He wasn’t feeling as angry as he was before, absolutely destroying people had that effect on him. He would see, and his father said he wasn’t forcing him right?

  
  
“Only if we stop by the coffee shop and get iced-coffee.”

  
  
“Deal. I’ll pay.”

  
  
  
And so, that is how they ended up in the cue of a coffee shop bitching about co-workers and peers. They were both very similar deep down, and if Gakushuu hadn’t been so competitive and his father so defensive, then they would’ve gotten along much sooner. But, one thing they had always bonded over, was how superior they were to others.  
  


Ah, shared narcissism.

  
  
“Is she the one who told you to your face that I looked like a toad when I was 2?”

  
  
“How do you remember that?”

  
  
“I remember everything.”

  
  
“Hmm, you can dream son. But yes, that’s her. Apparently she divorced her husband for me and wants to elope. Amongst her 3 other lovers.”

  
  
“Slag.”

  
  
“You can’t say that son. But yes, in essence. She didn’t seem to get the hint.”

  
  
“Its like Rika in C class. She doesn’t seem to understand ‘please leave me alone, I don’t want to have sex with you because I don’t want to get gonorrhoea’. Like I couldn’t have been more obvious.”

  
  
“Slag.”

  
  
"Hey! Why can you say it but I can't!"

  
  
As soon as they got their iced-coffee (One each, Gakuhou with caramel which Gakushuu wasn’t allowed, because if he wanted caramel, then he would have to pay. Whore.) they made their way home. As soon as Gakushuu had finished going on about the social studies teacher that had it out for him.

  
  
“-and he was legitimately taking points off of my answers! Obviously I complained and got the points back, but he fought back really hard.”

  
  
“Gakushuu?”

  
  
Gakushuu paused. 

  
  
“Yes father?”

  
  
His father looked oddly constipated for a second, and looked very torn for a second. Gakushuu let him have his moment.

  
  
“I’m- I’m.”

  
  
“Take your time.”

  
  
Gakuhou scowled.

  
  
“I’m sorry.”

  
  
Gakushuu was baffled. Floored. Stupefied. His father had never apologised to him. Not even after hitting him across the face.

  
  
“F-for what?”

  
  
“For making you feel like you aren’t important to me, or that I’m not proud of you.”

  
  
Gakushuu raised an eyebrow.

  
  
“Go on.”

  
  
His father shot him a withering glance.

  
  
“Look, you’re all I have. And well, you’re my greatest asset-“

  
  
“That sounds really creepy.”

  
  
“-and you’re everything I could’ve wanted in an Asano. I’m proud of your achievements and who you choose to be.”

  
  
“Still creepy. Plus, you could do to add some more tone to your voice. Makes it seem less scripted."

  
  
“You’re making this really hard!” Gakuhou said from behind his palm, teeth gritted.

  
  
“Sorry, I’m just emotionally stunted and don’t know how to deal with genuine affection.”

  
  
They made eye-contact, and both snorted a laugh.

  
  
“Guess you took that from me huh.”

  
  
“Sure did.”

  
  
Gakuhou sighed again, before awkwardly raising his hand towards Gakushuu as if he was approaching a feral cat. Gakushuu watched the hand cautiously before it settled in his hair. His father awkwardly ruffled his hair and Gakushuu felt like that one cat from the vine with the flower on his head that Karma had showed him.

  
  
“That was awful.”

  
  
“Please never do that again.”

  
  
“Where do you keep your hand sanitiser?”

  
  
“Here.”

  
  
After a few comfortable minutes of silence, Gakuhou started to talk again.

  
  
“Son. On a serious note. I have and would send men to prison for life for you. You can tell me anything, and whilst I may make sarcastic comments, I will help you to the best of my abilities.”

  
  
“Ah- are we going to ignore the first part of that??”

  
  
Gakuhou simply stared him down. 

  
  
Gakushuu sighed. He thought about it.

  
  
“You won’t flip?”

  
  
Gakuhou narrowed his eyes at him.

  
  
“Unless you have done something absolutely atrocious, I can promise you-“

  
  
“I’m in love with Karma Akabane.”

  
  
“-that I won’t OHiudlwhbegl”

  
  
Gakushuu patted his father’s back as he choked on his coffee.

  
  
“Y-you’re what?”

  
  
“Well, I’m not sure its love, but I really like him. I’ve never really liked anyone like him before, and I don’t really know what to do.”

  
  
Gakuhou mulled it over, a pained expression on his face.

  
  
“I see.”

  
  
Gakuhou listened to Gakushuu tell him what he knew so far, and what he had done about his crush patiently as they walked home.

  
  
“I support you being gay son, I’m still thinking about Akabane. He still sends me Wasabi every week you know that? He once gassed my office out.”

  
  
“I’m not gay. I’m bi.”  
  
  


“He’s a renowned delinquent, an arsonist (but he did manage to get out of court for that, which is impressive I will admit) and an asshole. Amongst other things that scare me that I can’t tell you because of government rules [ie- he is a trained assassin and could kill you].”

  
  
“He’s also the only person I have met who can up with me, he is of my calibre in many aspects of day-to-day life, he cant be easily controlled so wouldn’t be used to get to me. And he’s useful for taking out people I don’t like. Plus he's hot.” Gakushuu countered, having very much expected this.

  
  
“Touché.”

  
  
Overall, Gakushuu thought as he lay in bed that night, it hadn’t gone all that badly. He and his father had (ew) bonded and he accepted him (begrudgingly). He had also given some sound relationship advice. He was just happy that he and his father were getting along slightly better. They were now talking outside of the neutral zones! Improvement! His father had still spilt the remainder of his coffee over his head when he beat him to the front porch and in return he called him senile and stole all the money from his wallet.

  
  


Baby steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it ended on a weird note, its because I had written all of Gakushuu's POV in one document. I went really overboard, and decided that 11,000 words was too much for one chapter but there was no good way to split it, so this was the best I could do. That will come out at some point next week I think.
> 
> I've also been told by my bi friends that the video with Kendell Jenner and Harry Styles is the ultimate bisexual dream. So I made it Gakushuu's too :) its always been my headcanon that his bi-crisis was Harry Styles lmao so I kept true to that.
> 
> Gakuhou was really sweet in this chapter, and will be in the next one, but I don't want to diminish what he did to Gakushuu. It was still abuse and neglect, in in this he's been to therapy for several months with a therapist he trusts, and is trying to change. He always had major 'cool dad' potential, like he and Gakushuu could've done so much cool stuff together. Like bank robbing. Or tax fraud. But nooooo. He had to be an 'independent' megalomaniac. Lost potential if you ask me.
> 
> (you cannot tell me that the Asano's bitching about people whilst drinking iced coffee isn't canon, or that Gakushuu would give his father a really hard time when he finally apologised)
> 
> Please comment your thoughts! Its really nice to know your opinions about all of this. Also your support for this is so nice :,) I don't have much confidence in my writing (who am I kidding, I don't have any) so your nice comments really make e feel better! I literally love you guys!
> 
> Stay healthy!


	4. Gakushuu Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Gakushuu's perspective of the past events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't make this angsty. I just couldn't. I tried, but Gakushuu and his bisexual monkey brain made t very hard.
> 
> TW- Gakushuu has a small panic attack in this chapter! Just after the bathroom scene, so please skip if you need to.
> 
> (lmao me going 'no angst I swear' and then having a TW)
> 
> Enjoy!

Unfortunately, his dad had other ways of ruining his life. He knew his father was trying to be supportive, but he could try not to be a little shit about it, Gakushuu thought. He was placed next to Karma in pretty much _every_ lesson by 'new register order, haha new rules sorry Gakushuu you have to sit next to Karma! Try not to fight!' which reeked of Gakuhou getting involved. It made concentrating really hard, and he was losing sleep dreaming about romantic dates with Karma, or Karma biting his lip, or Karma smirking at Gakushuu or just Karma. Every day he came downstairs with deeper eye bags his father laughed harder. At least one of them was amused.  
  


And then came what he dubbed as the rooftop incident.

The _**rooftop incident**._

He would never really recover. His father would bully him mercilessly about it. Ren teased him. The others laughed.

  
When Karma pinned him to the wall not once, but twice all Gakushuu’s brain could think was niasucbefkli’msofuckinggay. Luckily his voice worked on autopilot, but Karma was so close, his face was right there, did his voice have to go that low??? Gakushuu was not functioning. He complained that Gakushuu wasn’t on form, not answering the teacher and forgetting his homework. How was he supposed to answer a question when he could barely think past hot boy sitting next to him, would like to bone.

  
“How many hours of sleep do you get every night?” Karma had asked after mentioning his eyebags.

  
Yes I’d like to sleep with you, his brain screamed. Gakushuu didn’t open his mouth because he was too scared he would voice it. He had already squeaked in a very unmanly fashion, which wasn’t very good for wooing. He nearly cried when Karma set him down.

  
Karma thought it was the lunches. The absolute idiot, Gakushuu thought. Its your stupid eyes, hair, brain, lips pretty much every part of you that keeps me awake with embarrassing dreams-

  
“Gakushuu.” Is what he said instead. Apparently his brain was suicidal, because the very image of calling Karma by his first name outside of his thoughts nearly killed him. The image of Karma calling his Gakushuu??? Dead.

  
“Don’t worry, I like making them for you! I like knowing that you eat healthily and stay safe, and I love spending time with you eating lunch together! All in all Karma, I really like you!” Gakushuu blurted out, his face beet red.

  
Oh my god.

  
He did it.

  
He told him!!!

(he hadn't meant to but semantics, he was looking at the bright side here)

He finally made eye contact with Karma and he wasn’t even looking at him.

  
Ouch. That was painful. Had he even noticed the confession?

  
“D-do you have anything to say back? Literally anything, I just don’t want to die of heartbreak at a young age please, I'd preferably like to die married to you at an old age or at least being choked by you-“

  
Karma pushed him back against the wall once more.

  
“Fine. Let me make the stupid lunches until exam season. Your schedule is already packed as fuck, you don’t need this on top. I want some actual competition from you Gakushuu, because when I beat you I want to have beaten you fair and square. Understand?” Karma snarled.

  
Gakushuu could barely breath through the multiple emotions filling his brain. His heart was screaming HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU!! HE DOESN’T WANT TO DATE YOU! His rational brain was thinking something like, he probably didn’t hear you! He wants to make you lunch! That’s positive isn’t it? Whilst monkey brain could only think hnnggghhh Karma has long lashessss-

  
-and then he was choking Gakushuu and monkey brain fully took over hottttt, but okay he couldn’t breathe-

  
“Jesus, fine! They better be good though,” Gakushuu said, his body overriding monkey brain to shake off the chokehold.

  
And so, he ended the lunchtime with mixed feelings. Sure, Karma hadn’t acknowledged his confession, but they were on first name basis and Gakushuu had a new hottest moment. And by not hearing the confession he had also not heard Gakushuu confessing that his ultimate wet dream was to be choked to death by Karma.

  
“All in all, an overall success,” he told Ren, who looked like he wanted to barf.

  
"Gakushuu, as your best friend, please stop telling me about Karma choking you. Also just stop in general."

* * *

The next few weeks passed by in a rush. Now that him and his father had cleared the air (or at least found some common ground), his father had gone into slave driver mode to prepare him for midterms. Karma’s lunches were absolutely amazing, and butterflies choked him up every time he got called Gakushuu, and vice versa. He was glad that he wasn’t sat next to Karma in any exams except the last one, because Gakushuu wasn’t sure he would concentrate. He could barely pay attention in class.

  
He made sure to send Karma a soft smile as they started social studies. With his father’s coaching he was sure he would get full marks. But he could feel Karma’s eyes on him during the exam, and it made his hand shake. He knew he’d lose marks for his handwriting in the last question, especially with his pissy teacher who had it out for him.

  
When results came out, he sighed with relief at his first place. True to his thoughts, the two marks he had lost had been on social studies, due to ‘unreadable handwriting’. He would've been more upset but really he was just proud that he had only lost 2 points by being seated next to the love of his life. Karma had come second, and he turned to congratulate him, but when he saw Karma he thought he was going to pass out.

  
Strong, independent Karma, who he would sell his organs for, looked like he was going to cry. And it broke Gakushuu heart. He looked at the schore and instantly understood.

  
He knew what it was like to lose. He had never felt the same shame and embarrassment as he had felt that day in middle school, when finals had come out. That burning all-consuming rage directed and everyone and everything including yourself. It had been redeemed a little bit by seeing his father glitch out and smack him, but he had loathed going to school for the next few weeks. He felt like everyone's eyes had been on him. That humiliation? Unrivaled.

  
So seeing that Karma had nearly lost his place to Araki, Gakushuu initially didn't understand that panic. He had still come second, what was the big deal? That point still stood between them.

  
But he saw that same shame and anger in Karma's eyes that he had felt that day and couldn't sit still. Dragging him into an empty classroom he embraced Karma. He wished that on that day someone would have done the sam thing for him. He wasn’t going to let Karma go through this alone. Yes, okay, it was partly selfish, the boy was warm, cute and Gakushuu was completely smitten for him. Karma wouldn't quite relax in his arms, so Gakushuu ran his fingers through Karma's hair. It was soft, but Gakushuu couldn’t enjoy it, not with every shuddering breath Karma took. Karma's body was still tense, but he had buried his face in Gakushuu's shoulder. Gakushuu felt his heart shatter and it was all he could do not to break down. If anyone ever made Karma feel like this, he would utterly destroy them. He buried his nose in Karma’s hair and whispered softly to him.

  
“Karma, you’re so strong, don’t think those points define you.”

  
“You’re wonderful, and I would do anything for you.”

  
“Don’t feel like these will change anything about you.”

  
But after 5 mins when Karma still hadn't relaxed, Gakushuu began to get concerned. Is it something I did? Am I part of the problem?? Am I making this worse??? What if he doesn’t like you, and you're just digging the knife in. Gakushuu started to tremble in panic, uncertainty and fear building in his mind.

  
Don’t be pathetic Gakushuu, you came in first, his brain reminded him. You’re not the one who needs comforting.

  
Then a reason hit him. What if those lunches had changed things?

  
“Was it making those lunches that changed things?” Gakushuu asked quietly. Karma didn’t react, and Gakushuu felt the sudden need to protect this boy from everything that would ever hurt him.

  
“Let me make the lunches from now on,” he breathed into Karma’s hair, still petting it.

  
Karma tensed so hard in his hold that it nearly sent Gakushuu into tears himself. Can't Karma see that he's trying to help? If he doesn't want him to be here he should just say, Gakuhsuu thought as he tried so hard not to hyperventilate with the thought that he was making things worse.

  
Forcing his brain to quieten down, he massaged Karma until he relaxed in his hold. Gakushuu’s heart swelled with relief and happiness.

  
He excused himself to go and buy Karma some food, trying to give him some space, and whilst waiting for the food to be made he stopped the trembling in his hands.

  
Stop. This isn’t about you.

  
He made sure he was attentive to Karma for the rest of that day, giving him snacks, keeping people away. The Virtuosos got the hint and gave them some distance.

  
Gakushuu couldn’t escape the feeling that something was terribly wrong with all of this.

  
The feeling proved right with the next two days.

  
Karma didn’t come to school.

And it absolutely broke Gakushuu.

  
His mind was filled with horrible things.

_  
He hates you. This is his answer. You unlovable psychopath. You’ll never find love. Just like your dad._

  
No! He tried to reason. He’s probably just sick. There’s a rational answer.

  
That reasoning voice was crushed once more when he didn’t come to school the next day either.

  
His father had tried to distract him that night, and the two of them had watched the Lion King together whilst eating ice cream. His father was being awfully kind to him since then, and it was clear he was trying, and Gakushuu was glad that he had told him. He wasn’t sure how much of it was the therapist’s orders however. He had received some very good calming techniques from her, which was nice, but it also prompted the thought of how did she know. The Lion King was sweet, and he could tell that his father was trying, but it really didn't help. He sent the deep breathing techniques to Ren just in case.

  
When Karma came into school the day after, Gakushuu nearly cried. And then he nearly cried again when he saw that Karma wasn’t wearing his jacket. It was like a slap to the face. It was a lesson with a substitute so they didn’t have a set seating plan, and when Karma moved to sit at the back of the classroom Gakushuu felt his gut churn. But strangely, he felt angry. How dare he not give you an answer. What an asshole! Karma wasn't even _looking_ at him. He was sick of these mixed signals.

  
So, Gakushuu decided to finally find out.

  
"Hey! Let go of me!" Karma shouted as Gakushuu dragged him forcefully down the corridor. He struggled and dragged his heels, but Gakushuu kept tugging and tugging until they were in the boys bathroom, anger fuelling his movements. He shoved Karma into the toilets and locked the door, staring his rival down.

  
"What's wrong with you!?" Karma scowled at him

  
"What's wrong with me?? What's wrong with you! You haven't been into school for 2 days and you didn't pick up the phone!!" Gakushuu said angrily back.

  
Karma had ignored all of his messages. His phone calls. He hadn’t even read them. It had made Gakushuu sick with worry.

  
"Two days. Are you really that pathetic that you can go two days without talking to me?" Karma scoffed cruelly.

  
Hurt flooded through Gakushuu’s body. He had spent every minute of the two days conjuring up scenarios. Karma rejecting his advances in the most cruel and obvious way possible. Karma mocking him to his friends. Karma throwing himself into fights to clear his head. Karma’s body in a ditch.

  
"I was worried about you! You fight so often, I was scared that, that..." Gakushuu’s voice trailed off at the end, and he slumped slightly, hiding his face.

  
"Please Karma, just don't do that to me again. I really, r-really..." Gakushuu reached forward and grabbed Karma’s hands. He wasn’t strong enough to meet his gaze. He felt sick. Weak. Karma was right, he was pathetic.

  
But he was also selfish, and he had to know.

  
"Karma, please go ou-"

  
"Grow up Gakushuu, can't you see that I'm not in the mood?!" Karma snarled, snatching his hand away from where Gakushuu held it tenderly.

  
And just like that, his heart broke into a thousand little pieces.

  
Well shit. 

  
He wanted to cry.

  
Why did he think that he could have nice things? 

  
_He didn’t deserve them._

  
He jerked away from Karma, vision spinning. He felt sea-sick, vertigo snatching his eye sight away from him.

  
"I'm sorry, I d-didnt-"

  
"God, just shut up. I can't be bothered right now. Come piss me off tomorrow when I'm feeling better," Karma said and Gakushuu finally met his gaze. His eyes were cold, unyielding and it was worse than being punched in the gut.

  
Karma shouldered past him to get to the door and he unlocked it. The boy of your dreams is leaving, his heart cried, do something!

  
"Wait, Karma!" Gakushuu's called out to Karma, but his voice was acting independently of his will, his knees wobbled as he grabbed Karma’s wrist. Maybe he hadn’t heard, maybe something else was wrong-

  
"What! WHAT IS IT NOW?" Karma shouted at Gakushuu, ripping his wrist from Gakushuu’s grip.

  
Gakushuu pulled out the lunch box he had made for Karma with trembling hands. It couldn’t get more obvious.

  
"Call me when you feel better," he said in a voice cracked with vulnerability. He practically ran from the room.

  
Gakushuu had only ever had one panic attack, and that had been after finals, when his father hadn’t talked to him for a day. After his own failure. Sure, his father had been taken down, but not by him. He couldn’t even retain first place. Pathetic. That wouldn’t even hold a candle to how he felt now. He ran. His breathing was laboured. He felt hands on his body and he scratched and clawed at them. The faces around him blurred into one.

  
_Too loud, too loud-_

  
He felt the hands pull him into a dark, quiet room. He heard quiet voices and he flinched, but they were gone as soon as they came. Hands stroked through his hair and massaged his shoulders. He felt reassuring touches to his back. Gakushuu felt tears bead at his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He wouldn’t cry over Karma. He refused. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to calm down.

  
When he finally was coherent enough to see what was in front of him, he looked up. The vertigo returned very suddenly, and he had to close his eyes again.

  
“Shh, not so fast. Take some deep breaths,” Ren’s voice called to him from where he was patting Gakushuu.

  
He took a few deep breaths, and slower this time, opened his eyes and looked up. He was sitting on a chair, hugging Koyama, and his friends sat around him.

  
“I’m glad I took that course on the body’s response to panic,” Koyama said, without his signature cackle to soften the mood. He looked concerned.

  
God, now his friends were having to pick up his mess. Weak.

  
“No! NO, shhh, no bad thoughts,” Araki said, and poked Gakushuu in the side. Just then, Seo walked in.

  
“We’ve been excused from sport. I told the teacher you had twisted your ankle and we were helping you to the infirmary,” Seo said, uncharacteristically quiet.

  
“I don’t think I’ve ever skipped a lesson before,” Ren chuckled, but sounded unsure.

  
They all sat there in an uncomfortable silence, clearly waiting for Gakushuu to do something. Gakushuu focused on calming down and fending away the dark thoughts with Koyama’s awkward head pats.

  
“Me and my dad watched the lion king last night,” he finally sniffed, voice hoarse.

  
All of his friends visibly deflated, worry leaving their features.

  
“Yeah? How was it? Did he relate more to Scar or Mufasa?” Ren asked, fondness creeping into his voice.

  
“Surprisingly? His favourite was that female hyena. He got annoyed by Pumba, because he smelt.” Gakushuu said, a small smile working his way onto his face.

  
“A hyena! He’s definitely more Scar, but it’s still pretty close,” Seo laughed.

  
“He related to both, direct quote, ‘I sympathise with the lady dog because she surrounded by idiots.”

  
His friends all laughed, and the tension in his body slowly slipped out until he was fully hugging Koyama. He let out a squawk when Gakushuu full on koala hugged him.

  
“Asano? As much as I know you’re touch starved, I do need to breathe,” he wheezed.

  
Gakushuu didn’t let go in the slightest.

  
“I love you guys,” he said into Koyama’s shoulder, only releasing him when he heard the boy start to really lose breath.

  
“We love you too boss,” Seo said.

  
The soft silence was broken by Araki, trying to get Gakushuu to talk again so that he wouldn't start thinking.

  
“So, Gakushuu, tell us more stories about your dad. Preferably stupid ones.”

  
“Oh yeah! Didn’t you call him a whore a few days ago?” Ren asked.

  
“What?” Koyama screeched behind him.

  
“That was so funny, tell them!” Seo cried.

  
Gakushuu smiled and tried to push all thoughts of Karma to the back of his head.

  
“So basically…”

“… I’m going to murder him.” Gakuhou announced darkly from the front seat of the car. After Gakushuu had made it through the rest of the school day (lunch had been painful but they had found Ren’s lost phone and made him a last will, which made him feel better. He had also spent the rest of music crying in a soundproof room which had also made him feel better) Seo had drawn the short straw and been the one to call his father to ask him to pick him up, and explain the situation. Gakushuu had told him mid-cry in music and had laughed when gangly-limbed Ren claimed he would fight Karma for him. He could skip his clubs this time, he decided.

  
“Don’t dad.” Gakushuu said quietly. None of his friends had been there to see him cry, and he wasn’t about to break down in front of his father.

  
They arrived home in an uncomfortable silence. But when Gakushuu passed through the threshold he was taken aback. The kitchen was filled with chocolate and ice cream, and the lounge looked like it had been put through a teenage girl’s sleepover- pillows and blankets everywhere, and a film selection (all looked newly bought) stacked on the table.

  
“DAD!” Gakushuu wailed at he threw himself into his father’s arms, who caught him with an oofmh.

  
He sniffed into his father’s suit as his father carded his hands through his hair. 

  
_Weak_ , his mind thought. _Running to your Daddy_.

  
Fuck off, Gakushuu thought back. He wanted to hug his dad. 

  
“He doesn’t deserve you son,” Gakuhou Asano said as he held his son for the first time in many years.

  
They hugged for a few minutes before Gakushuu poked his head up.

  
“Don’t you think this is a little overboard?” he teased slightly, feeling embarrassed that his father had to see him like this. He tried to pull away, but his father dragged him back against his chest and held him possessively there.

  
“No. Mandy said this would make you feel better,” Gakuhou replied bashfully, having no idea how to comfort a teenage boy after something like this.

  
Ah, Mandy the therapist. I must send you more flowers, Gakushuu thought lovingly.

  
They spent the evening bundled up on the sofa, watching Disney films. His father had gotten very upset when Elsa ran from the castle.

  
“She’s not a monster you fools! She’s an extremely valuable war asset!! Why would you not treat her kindly?” His father seethed. Gakushuu was bundled up in blankets until you could only see his face and hair, and was tucked under his father’s arm as he sullenly ate ice cream. They had been watching films for about 3 hours at this point, and Gakushuu had gorged on every comfort food his father had made available to him. He would rather die than admit he had teared up in The Little Mermaid, and when his father mocked him, he simply claimed Prince Eric was so hot he was bought to tears. Just for that, when his father teared up in Finding Nemo, he made sure he had videos.

  
“Do you think Hans is good-looking dad?” Gakushuu asked. He couldn’t decide.

  
His dad hmmmed.

  
“Objectively so, but he’s a bit thick. He’d be better looking with some character development,” his father said dryly. Gakushuu agreed.

  
“Okay, he’s definitely hot now,” Gakuhou said when Hans left Ana in the room to die, “this is good looking character development. Plus, he’s resourceful. Now he might end up being a king.”

  
Gakushuu laughed.

  
“At least try to hide your megalomania dad,” Gakushuu giggled.

  
He messaged his friends to ask them whether they thought Hans was hot or not.

  
** Redheads have Small Dicks™ [6.35] **

  
**UltimateLength-** Opinion- Hans, hot or not.

  
 **BigScholg-** Absolutely not. That scheming bastard can rot in hell.

  
Gakushuu snorted. Of course Ren would say that.

  
 **MassiveDing-** At the start of the film he was, but not at the end

  
 **LongDong-** Sven was hotter

  
 **BigSchlong-** KOYAMA YOU FURRY

  
 **LargePeePee-** HAHAHAH 

  
**LongDong-** WHAT? SVEN IS THE BLOND DUDE ISN’T HE

  
Gakushuu laughed as his friends antics, and then promptly froze.

One unread message from Karma <3   
  


  
“Dad???” he said quietly, poking his father in the side.

  
“Shhh, Hans is about to win,” his father said, entranced.

  
“Karma wants to meet with me.” Gakushuu said quietly, voice shaking a little bit.

  
His father whipped his head around to face him.

  
“Absolutely not.” His father snarled through clenched teeth.

  
“But, Dad, he might apologise-“

  
“Gakushuu, do you hear me??? You are not leaving this house, and that’s final.”

  
Gakushuu shrank down into the cushions at his father’s tone. He knew he was right, that he shouldn’t see Karma, but goddammit if there was a chance to fix things then maybe   
he could? Maybe Karma was going to apologise.

  
**Redheads have Small Dicks [6.36]**

  
**LargePeePee** \- YOU CAN’T LIE TO ME

  
 **MassiveDing** \- ARAKI LOLA BUNNY WAS NOT HOT THAT’S DEFINITELY YOU BEING A FURRY

  
 **UltimateLength** \- Karma wants to meet with me. Should I go?

  
 **BigSchlong** \- JOIN KOYAMA IN THE FURRY CORNER

  
 **LongDong** \- Erm, maybe?

  
 **MassiveDing** \- Oh shit

  
 **LargePeePee** \- If he wants to meet then surely he wants to apologise right?

  
 **BigSchlong** \- GAKUSHUU NO DON’T FORGIVE HIS SORRY ASS

  
 **UltimateLength** \- Shouldn’t I give him one chance to explain?

  
 **LargePeePee** \- I agree, it has only been one argument. And plus, we don't know what he's been through at the moment.

  
 **BigSchlong** \- Araki don’t side with him! He’s been shitty to Asano since the start!

  
 **MassiveDing** \- He’s not a bad guy Ren, maybe he’s just confused?

  
 **LongDong** \- Gakushuu should let him explain. But this is his last chance! After this we egg his house

  
 **BigSchlong** \- Fine. But if anything goes wrong text us please. We have your back.

  
 **UltimateLength** \- Okay. Thanks guys.

Gakushuu replied to Karma’s message with an Okay and turned off his ringer.

  
“Dad? I want to go and see him.” Gakushuu said firmly to where his dad was sulking across the couch.

  
“No.”

  
“I might get an apology out of him.”

  
“…”

  
“Dad, cmon.”

  
“Fine, but you keep your phone on and update me.” His father said sternly.

  
Gakushuu beamed at his father.

  
“Thanks Dad. Now help me get dressed.”

  
As the time got nearer and nearer to seven, they had an outfit ready (that Gakuhou had picked out, which Gakushuu complained made him look like an off-duty yoga teacher, but it was the most revealing thing his father had allowed).

  
“You’re going to be late. Make him wait,” Gakuhou said firmly, only allowing Gakushuu to leave at 7.

  
On the way there, Gakushuu burned with nerves. What if he was going only to be turned down again? The message had insinuated food, but you could never know. What if Karma never wanted to see him again? He felt sick, but that could’ve been all of the chocolate he had eaten before. He was also angry at himself. He had let Karma screw him around for 2 months and he was just going to let him off the hook easily? Gakushuu swore that he would get an apology out of him if it killed him.

  
When Gakushuu approached Karma, who was lounging against the entrance to the park, his felt his eyes boggle out of his head. How dare he look so hot. Gakushuu was supposed to be mad.

  
How could he be mad when Karma looked like that? Tight black jeans, a grey jumper and a fucking leather jacket. Karma could ask him to throw himself off a cliff and he would do it. Happily.

  
“You’re late,” is what Karma said. Rude, Gakushuu’s mind supplies for him, but his lips are dry and he wants Karma to step on him with those combat boots.

  
NO! You’re supposed to be mad!

  
“You’re an asshole,” he says with all the bite of a baby fish.

  
Karma turned to walk into the park, and Gakushuu couldn’t help drifting his eyes up and down Karma’s legs. He managed to get a good eyeful before he noticed Karma watching him, and he guiltily made eye contact and followed him.

  
The evening had been wonderful. He had blushed and shivered at every small contact between them, and while Karma thought he was sick, it did manage to get him Karma’s leather jacket, which he was never going to return, ever.

  
He knew he shouldn’t have come, he thought as he stared at the glorious picture in front of him. The pillows, blankets, little candles.

  
My ideal first date, Gakushuu thought numbly. But Karma doesn’t consider it one.

  
He ate to occupy his mouth. He listened to Karma talk as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t broken Gakushuu’s heart in two just earlier that day.

  
You really are a masochist, huh Gakushuu, his brain told him.

  
Karma looked so beautiful in the evening light, and what was left Gakushuu’s heart ached.

  
How dare he look like this, do all of this for you, and he doesn’t even like you.

  
Even playing cards ended with a tussle, and Gakushuu nearly cried when he realised the positions they ended up in. You’re so easy Gakushuu, your first crush is a pretty boy   
and you can’t even get him to apologise to you.

  
He had an opportunity to ask Karma what all of this meant. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t have that amount of heartbreak in a day.

  
The fond, soft way Karma looked at him when he called him his best friend after giving Gakushuu hope all evening was the second knife to the chest.

  
How dare you look at me like that, and say things like that Gakushuu said, his heart screaming and body trembling.

  
The happy elated flush on Karma’s face as he walked him home, the food he had made. All of the sings, Gakushuu thought. Karma wasn’t stupid, he could read situations well. The way he wrapped his arm around Gakushuu like he was something to treasure. The way he smiled at Gakushuu when they had a private joke, the way he looked in Gakushuu’s jacket. The possessive nature when it came to being his partner in class, his only rival.

  
Gakushuu wasn’t stupid either. Karma liked him!

  
_Maybe he just didn’t know it._

Huh.

  
His father was going to flip when he got home, he thought to himself, but it was distant.

  
I can’t take this, Gakushuu thought to himself as he burrowed into Karma’s jacket, _with Karma's arm around him_. How was he this dense.

  
They neared Gakushuu’s house, and just before they reached the threshold Gakushuu stopped him.

  
“Karma.” Gakushuu had made up his mind.

  
“Yes?”

  
“I’m going to wait for you.”

  
Karma looked confused.

  
“I’m tired of being the only one who understands,” Gakushuu said quietly. He couldn’t do this half and half shit. When Karma had figured things out, he could come and talk to Gakushuu.

  
He pulled away from Karma, and faced him. He placed two hands on his waist.

  
“Karma. I can’t do this anymore. I need to know if you feel the same way. I’ve confessed to you twice, and each time you do nothing. The mixed messages are driving me crazy.”

  
Karma looked at him, a dopey smile on his face, and brushed his thumb over Gakushuu’s cheek. Asshole, Gakushuu thought as his brain break danced to the heart attack he was having

  
“Karma, are you listening to me?” Gakushuu asked.

  
“Hmph? Nah, not really,” Karma answered.

  
  


God _fucking_ damn it. How much more obvious did he need to get?

  
He closed his arms around Karma’s waist once more and felt Karma freeze in his arms.

“Come and talk to me when you understand, okay?” he whispered.

  
Karma looked exceedingly more and more confused. Gakushuu had terrible taste in men.

  
Gakushuu decided to be selfish. As he was leaving, he pressed a soft kiss to Karma’s cheek. Karma just looked more confused.

“Thank you for tonight. I had a really nice time. And I apologise for today in the toilet. I accept your apology too,” Gakushuu said with a wink, and turned into his house.

  
He unlocked the door and immediately his father was on him. In the lounge he could see the figures of his friends. When had they come over? And they were currently eating all of his comfort food!!

  
“What happened? Why didn’t you answer my calls? I was about to drive to his house and break all of his windows!!!” Gakuhou said very hysterically. Gakushuu snorted at his father’s antics and closed the door.

  
He joined his friends on the coach, who were currently watching Frozen.

  
“Okay, if you like Sven, you’re obviously a furry, but what about Olaf?” Araki asked.

  
“Gakushuu!” Koyama announced, very glad to steer the topic away from furries.

  
“What happened boss?” Seo asked.

  
He watched his father sit down across from them. Gakushuu picked up a box of chocolates and began eating.

  
“Dude, cmon, tell us!” Ren cried impatiently.

  
God, Gakushuu felt sick, but these chocolates were so good.

  
“I didn’t let your gaggle of friends inside this house for you to mope and eat more chocolate,” Gakuhou said, “tell me if I need to send evidence of his arson to the police   
station.”

  
His friends looked slightly terrified. Gakushuu laughed.

  
Gakushuu retold the whole experience. Excluding the homoerotic pinning.

  
“He doesn’t know,” Gakushuu explained, at the end.

  
Silence.

  
“… know what? That you like him?” Ren asked.

  
Gakushuu shrugged.

  
“Don’t think so. He definitely has strong feelings for me. But he can’t differentiate them from friendship.”

  
“Oh no,” Araki whispered.

  
“Yeah, so basically I got friend-zoned.” Gakushuu started to laugh, and if a tear escaped it wasn’t his fault.

  
“But, he does like you? Right? Its so obvious! Isn’t it guys!” Koyama voiced.

  
All of his friends nodded in agreement.

  
“He treats you so differently!” Seo piped up.

  
“So, we just need to get him to realise that he likes you,” Araki pressed his fist into his pal with determination.

  
Gakushuu looked over at his father. He sat quietly, but his eyes glittered with what Gakushuu could only describe as feral.

  
“I have an idea.”

  
His friends all went quiet and turned towards his father.

  
“Karma likes a competition right? And if he does have unacknowledged feelings, then this should work. Gakushuu, is he possessive over you?” His father asked, lips curling into   
a smile.

  
Gakushuu frowned.

  
“Yes he is.”

  
Suddenly what his father was hinting at hit him.

  
“OH!”

  
His father shrugged.

  
“Worth a try, right? We have the means arriving soon anyway. It’s perfect timing.”

  
“What’s going on?” Koyama asked, slightly unnerved by the unspoken plotting between the Asanos.

  
“No clue,” Ren asked.

  
“I’ll tell you guys later. Right now, I want to eat so much chocolate that I puke whilst watching cute Disney men,” Gakushuu yawned and crammed himself between Ren and   
Araki.

  
“Aladdin is pretty cute, have you seen that?”

  
“Gakushuu you’re gonna love Jasmine!” Ren announced, rifling through the stack to see if his father had bought that DVD.

  
“If we don’t have the disk I can log into my Netflix,” Seo said.

  
Gakuhou snorted and went up to his office.

  
“Should I make some arrangements then Gakushuu?” his father asked.

  
Gakushuu met his father’s gaze and they both smiled.

  
“Thanks dad,” Gakushuu said softly.

  
“No problem son.”

  
“Nothing says family bonding like plotting,” Araki said dryly.

  
Gakushuu smiled. Screw Karma right now. He would sort that out later. Right now he had a group of uncomplicated friends, a slowly fixing-itself relationship with his father and a Disney film to watch with a cute male and female lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> I needed more friend bonding. Gakushuu's friends save their relationship, Gakushuu is too horny and Karma is too confused to sort it out themselves to others have to step in. You can also pry medic Koyama from my cold, dead hands. He's a biologist cmon, he's gonna know how to deal with a panic attack.
> 
> More healthy Asanos! Again, I don't want to minimise Gakushuu's abuse but I wanted some protective Dadsano.
> 
> Please comment your thoughts! I hope this chapter wasn't too crap, I was losing steam a bit at the end. 
> 
> Love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Careful Karma, it almost looks like you care.
> 
> I have so many ideas about this pairing that I needed to write one! I chose this one because I thought writing Son of Ares Karma x Son of Aphrodite Gakushuu would've killed me. I still want to write it though.
> 
> Please comment your thoughts, it really helps me to decide where to go with fics. I have a vague idea of where I'm going but it's not completely clear.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed! <3


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